The University of Calgary Gauntlet®
  2005-09-29
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News
Regional input in PSE review
Dirty Rez rooms upon arrival
Student killed in car accident
World Solar Challenge wraps up
Pay equity under fire
Shinerama 2005 breaks the $20,000 mark
From war to class
The children are our future
Consume less, jerk
Greens invade That Empty Space
Quality issues remain at U of C
Student pens first novel
More student seats
SU avoids dental woes
Big Rock lectures back

Opinions
Building the new Great Wall
Burn hollywood burn, I smell a riot
Bulldozing the way for capitalism
Another perspective

Sports
Dinos seeing threes and zeroes
Soccersaurs bucked by Pronghorns
Close call
Fastball times at the U of C
Hello? Hockey?
Volleysaurs bring winning back into style
This game has 18 fair ways to play
We built it, they're coming, but are we ready?
Put the ladies on ice

Entertainment
Music Interview: Black Dice get noisy
Art Preview: The new Newspaper
Dance Preview: You can dance if you want to
Film Scoop: Film Fest magic
Festival Review: War Hospital
Festival Review: This Beggar's Portrait
Music Interview: Honens makes piano cool
Book Interview: Wiebe's gourmet prose
Film Review: Flightplan off course
Film Review: Stupid Violence

Features
Survey: boylove


AP
Magic missile for life

  Burn hollywood burn, I smell a riot





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Fancy getting off your arse and crawling out of that dank cavern you call your mum's basement? Go and see a movie at the Calgary Film festival--the opportunity to see something original is becoming a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Face it: the alternatives aren't that great. Anyone who's seen the recent remake of Bewitched knows not even an unwavering admiration for Will Farell can help it from being anything more than moderately cataclysmic.

Film lovers are in dire need of sustenance these days when it comes to extracting something worthwhile or fulfilling from their movies. It's all about bland and brand: the big studios play it safe and go for the films with the least risk while still garnering a return. Bland is all about predictability, and you can confidently expect we'll be seeing a lot more sequels and comic book adaptations throughout the next year. Brand, on the other hand, is about the latest Hollywood fad, paying for movies with extensive product placement and advertising. Herbie Fully Loaded should have carried the tag line "more turned- out labels than a supermarket."

So cynical has Hollywood become that a script doesn't pass muster without an accompanying marketing strategy to sell related products and merchandise. Aware they can abandon plot, story and character in favour of lots of explosions and special effects, Hollywood shovels us mouthful after mouthful of the meager repast. They have become lazy and ultra risk averse, preferring whenever they can to find an old movie and recast it, certain a former success can be dusted off, new actors added and result in a hit. Burt Reynolds becomes Adam Sandler; throw in Chris Rock for good measure and lo, we have The Longest Yard... again.

The blame lies with, well, you. Generation Fed-Ex. The new university crowd born and bred on fast food, basic cable and over-the-counter painkillers. You want it all now--yesterday if at all possible--unwrapped, sliced neatly, labelled, and with sugar on top. It should be low fat, de-caffeinated, wholesome, and most of all it should involve the use of no higher brain functions whatsoever. As long as we keep coughing up the cash for the latest remake of The Stepford Wives, they'll keep churning them out with a new puppies and rainbows ending tacked on.

The only way out is to vote with your money. Instead of pouring cash into the big studio coffers so they can waste it on another plotless remake, why not visit the Calgary Film Festival? Not only will you be supporting your community, but the independent film makers who just might dare to give you something fresh or challenging rather than canned or rehashed.

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