At some point of time, you, me and a bunch of other people thought watching The Last of Us would be a good idea — it’s a show based on a video game, how impactful could it possibly be?? Then episode three happened and life will never be the same again. So if you’re like me and are still dumbfounded over the three act tragic play the showrunners put on only to introduce a stupid truck to the storyline, here are a few things you can do as you grieve.
Listen to “Long Long Time” by Linda Ronstadt on repeat
Let’s be real, this song quickly became the winter equivalent of Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God).” You will download this song and listen to it on repeat — while walking to class, driving home, eating dinner and before going to bed. It will be the first thing you will hear when you wake up and the last thing you listen to before you fall asleep. I guess HBO has chosen our Spotify Wrapped 2023 most-listened-to-song of the year for us.
Stare at a wall
Completely and utterly wrecked by this episode, you’re not going to have the capacity to do anything. So you’re just going to stare at a wall, while you replay all the happy scenes from the episode in your head over and over again, a single tear rolling down your face.
Drive to the store at 9 p.m. for some strawberries
Rewatching the garden scene for the thousandth time, you start craving strawberries. Living in Alberta in the middle of February doesn’t really help with that, so you drive to your closest grocery store in hopes of finding some console. Upon arriving at the produce aisle, however, your tears restart their journey down your face as the $9.99 price tag on a small pint of strawberries from Chile greet you. Maybe you should start planting your own smuggled strawberry seeds after all.
Binge-watch The White Lotus and/or Parks and Recreation
Chances are, after this episode, you got attached to one or more of the featured characters. If Murray Bartlett’s Frank captured your heart, the first season of The White Lotus is calling your name. If you vibed with Nick Offerman’s Bill, it’s gonna be Parks and Recreation. Your choice will speak volumes about you and before you ask — yes, I will be judging. If it’s both, I have an immense amount of respect and sympathy for you.
Avoid your pain by watching TikTok edits of Pedro Pascal
I dread the day I open the TikTok app and I’m not greeted with, “How would you like to ride home on a real cowboy? I’ve got a six-pack of cold ones on ice and my roomie’s out all night so you can scream my name as loud as you need to, sugar.” For now, in @dvcree we trust.
We hope you can use these activities as a balm to your soul as you grieve — at least until you get to episode five.
This article is part of our humour section.
