By Lady Marmalade, March 13 2019 —
Like some people in university, I’ve reached a point in life where it was time to move out of my sweet mother’s house and spread my wings in the real world. Luckily for me, I am in a relationship, so I decided the timing was right to split the rent with someone I love and give up my independence.
Just kidding, I still have some of that. Sometimes.
If you’re moving in with a partner or plan to in the future, here are some things to prepare yourself for when you finally bite that commitment bullet.
Finding a place to live is hard:
Don’t expect to find the perfect place right away. Take the time to plan exactly what it is you’re looking for with your partner. Just like if you were going to live with a platonic roommate, plan accordingly for lots of space. Depending on your budget, it may be a good idea to look for a two-bedroom spot that has ample space for working and relaxing. It may seem ideal to live in a cozy one-bedroom with you and your lover, but trust me, having more places to go will come in handy once the honeymoon period wears off.
Set a realistic budget that you know will work for you long-term, as most places require that you sign a one-year lease. If one of you is moving into the other’s place, then this might be a different adjustment period. Make sure that there’s space set aside for you so that it doesn’t feel like you’re living in someone else’s home.
Plan what you’re going to eat:
Trying to keep yourself fed is one thing. Making sure that you and another person are both fed is a whole different ball game. Plan what you’re going to make for dinner throughout the week and start packing leftovers for lunch. It’s boring, but it saves time and money. Grocery shopping only once a week is a huge time-saver and helps with meal planning. It also makes it easier to track how much you’re spending on groceries when the time comes to look at your dreaded finances. Money is another problem altogether, so make sure you are transparent about your expenses and budgets before you move in and sign a lease together, or big problems will be on the horizon.
Fights are weird now:
Before you spent every day together, fights were just a thing that happened. They usually surrounded more important things, like the amount of time you spend together or forgetting an anniversary. Now that you’re living together, these fights still happen. But small, more frequent fights will also happen. And these fights are a lot weirder.
For example, you maybe have a disagreement about whether frozen vegetables should be steamed or boiled — steamed is the right answer — or who should be able to poop first in the morning. Though these fights are probably insignificant, make sure you put them to bed right away or they may pop up later when one of you decides that “half a teaspoon” doesn’t actually need to be measured.
Sex is different:
You may have visions of sex in your new house being wild, loud and frequent. It might be for the first little bit. But unless you’ve bought your own house, there are neighbours close by that you need to be courteous of. And the novelty of having sex in the kitchen or on the couch wears off after the first few times.
It’s nice not having to worry about locking doors or being sneaky, but the weird thing is that sometimes you end up having less sex with your partner after you move in together. Real life gets in the way and you may end up washing dishes or watching that Netflix show instead of making time to get your bone on. So if sex is important in your relationship, make sure you take the time to spice things up every once in a while — especially since you and your partner are going to be very comfortable with each other. Too comfortable, even.
Good luck out there and enjoy being a real adult by living in sin.