Gauntlet Mixtape Vol.21: I’ll just keep drawing horses

By Brooklyn Billinghurst, Valery Perez, Jocelyn Hadford, Dianne Miranda, Dylan Carrasco, Ifeoluwa Akomolede, Kerrick Chavarria, Kabir Bedi, Ansharah Shakil, Gabriela Alvarez, Ramiro Bustamante Torres and Daman Singh, February 8 2024—

This season, a month that often evokes the warmth of love, can remind many how difficult it is to understand and express their feelings. We might even find ourselves grappling with the intricate dance of emotions. This Gauntlet Mixtape can help turn those nervous feelings into electricity and serve as a sonic guide through the maze of love.

BROOKLYN: VOLUNTEER

“Kalahari Down” by Orville Peck
- A song of longing, of roads not taken, of missing the life you could have had if things were just a little different. Peck reminds us that you can take the kid from the emptiness of the desert, but you can’t take the emptiness out of the kid.
“Do You Love Me?” and “Do You Love Me? (Pt. 2)” by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
- The age-old lament of any true romantic: do they love me? Cave croons over a gothic piano that swells itself into the electric, triumphant chorus of Pt. 1. Pt. 2. crumbles any uplifting or celebratory moments with the utterly brutal and dripping with lament chorus and dissonant pianos. Truly encapsulates the joyous highs and the withdrawal-like lows of love. If you weren’t lovesick before, you are now.
“Sex” by The 1975
- From the jangling guitars to the unabashed youthful vocals, The 1975 sonically illustrates the tricky winding path of young intimacy. Because, after all, she’s got a boyfriend, anyways.

VALERY: OPINIONS & HUMOUR EDITOR

“Sea, Swallow Me” by Cocteau Twins, Harold Budd
- This song is an exploration of yearning for something better while attempting to reach it and failing again…and again… and again. This is how my love life feels these days. No, I’m not depressed. Why do you ask?
“We’ll Never Have Sex” by Leith Ross
- A bit of a modern classic but an obvious choice. In the modern dating world, I often have difficulty with how sexually expressive everyone has become. NO, I’m not a prude. I just often feel trapped between “so are we gonna kiss or what?” and “I need you to dive so deep within myself that we become one” . The desire to be loved and craved and known in a non-sexual way is incredibly real. Leith just gets it!
“Slow it Down Cowboy “ by Anna Bates
- While the desire to be known is all consuming, the fear of committing to the wrong one is even more so. This song cautions against jumping into relationships head first and being led astray by desire. Something I find myself being incredibly cautious of recently (or maybe I have commitment issues, who knows?)

JOCELYN: VOLUNTEER

“Mystery” by Jesse Jo Stark
- Even the people we love can be the hardest to understand.
“Bags” by Clairo
- For when you’d rather hide your feelings than have them reject and leave you.
“Saw you In A Dream” by The Japanese House
- For when you’re clearly delusional.

DIANNE: VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR

“Thinking Of You Thinking Of Me” by Bogdan Raczynski
- This minute-long track of ambient beatless twisting sounds mirrors the cacophony of complicated feelings that can come with liking someone.
“anything” by Adrianne Lenker
- This song and the chorus speak of the constantly fleeting glimpses of calamity, that is, nervousness, and how they can disappear and become a distant memory. By the end of the song, one can experience the confusing feeling of a racing heart in a moment of calmness.
“Pretend” by alex_g_offline
- The perfect song to try to convince yourself and pretend you don’t have feelings for someone.

DYLAN: VOLUNTEER

“Melting” by Kali Uchis
- I’ve always wished I could slow dance with him to this song.
“So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings” by Squirrel Flower (cover)
- This cover lets the lyrics lay bear and fully embrace that feeling of yearning for your lover… or even someone you only can love in your dreams.
“All U Wanna Do Is Dance” by Dreamgirl
- Have you ever been in love with someone so clueless?

IFE: VOLUNTEER

“Never Alone” by Tori Kelly, Kirk Franklin
- It’s a song that’s used for uplifting when someone is down, but could also be from a place of genuine love.
“pov” by Ariana Grande
- The song is mostly about romantic love, but depending on perspective, it can be seen from all types of love (eg, self-love).
“Intentions” by Justin Bieber, Quavo
- The song also comes from a place of self-love and being confident that has a beautiful message.

KERRICK: VOLUNTEER

“Mi Corazón (feat. Camilo)” by Jacob Collier, Camilo
- Whether you’re looking to get over a heartbreak through solemn reflection or are looking to get down to get over the blues, Jacob captures the essence of both missing someone and grounding yourself as someone who was there to care and guide your once-loved one. The role you play is just as important.
“Relationships” by Cory Wong, Jon Batiste
- Though instrumental, this delicate and pensive track allows for the mind to explore the vivid colours one lives through relationships formed with one another, granting the listener an ethereal auditory and sensory experience. Whether you want to learn the strength to let go or learn to live in the delicate light of the sunrise once again, this track is for you.
“Without You” by Leslie Odom Jr.
- Hearing this stripped-down version of this tearful ballad from Rent is an opportunity for you to learn one important lesson: give space for your heart to mourn. You don’t need to force yourself to hide or to go follow some stoic path to avoid human nature to flourish freely. Allow the track to give you space to honour your pain and suffering free of judgment.

KABIR: VOLUNTEER

“Alone” by Jon Caryl
- I’ve always found it challenging to find friends and love. I can relate my feelings to this song.

ANSHARAH: ARTS & SCIENCE EDITOR

“I Want You To Love Me” by Fiona Apple
- Fiona Apple always manages to encompass almost every human emotion in the world, and this song is the perfect example of that.
“You Wouldn’t like Me” by Tegan and Sara
- Bittersweet and comforting, this is one of Tegan and Sara’s best and most relatable songs.
“Your Type” by Carly Rae Jepsen
- “Your Type” is full of sincere vulnerability and longing that will allow you to understand and feel your own emotions more deeply.

GABRIELA: VOLUNTEER

“hate to be lame (feat. Finneas)” by Lizzy McAlpine, FINNEAS
- It’s hard to admit to those we love that we love them. We often question these feelings and want to make for certain that those feelings are not just true for ourselves but that it is reciprocated. This is your chance to “be lame” and tell that person your feelings.
“Missing You (with Ashe)” by Stephen Sanchez, Ashe
- This song is about being able to see a bright future for a significant other. It is a story of their lives together from how much they longed for each other before they found one another to imagining their future kids. Not every love story has to be tragic. They are choosing each other, promising to always do so now and for the rest of their lives.
“Pick Me” by Alec Benjamin
- This song is something that many people in this generation can relate to, the online dating world. Through different descriptions of himself he is trying to find his other half through dating apps. Some facts of himself may not be right but he is trying anything to seem appealing in order for someone to “pick” him.

RAMIRO: LAYOUT EDITOR

“Linger” by The Cranberries
- The lyrics say it all: did you have to let it linger?
“Strawberry Blond” by Mitski
- There is something to be said of loving despite it being unrequited. It’s the fact that the feeling is unconditional that I think this song lends some sweet tune to it.
“Digital Love” by Daft Punk
- The out of body and dreamy feel this song gives represents all those daydreams of random crushes that stuck a little too long.

DAMAN: VISUALS EDITOR

“Waiting Room” by Phoebe Bridgers
“All I Wanted” by Paramore
“Basketball Shoes” by Black Country, New Road