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Your future is technologic
By Derek Baker, October 10 2017 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Your professor will spend the majority of every single lecture trying to get the computer to hook up to the projector. You paid $500 for this.
General
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Ultra-low-cost airline “Eastjet Dive” to offer transatlantic flights on crop-dusters
By Devin Aggarwal, October 4 2017 —
No-frills airline Eastjet announced the launch of its ultra-low-cost service “Eastjet Dive” today, promising customers low-cost tickets for international flights. Dive hopes to lower ticket prices by 75 per cent without sacrificing the … Read the rest
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Hydroponic grow-op discovered in plant biology department
By Derek Baker, October 3 2017 —
Some student researchers in the University of Calgary’s plant biology program have been pursuing a slightly different form of higher education. After receiving an anonymous tip — and observing smokey haze emanating from … Read the rest
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Your last few months of 2017 will have a plot twist
By Joie Atejira, October 3 2017 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Though you’re not a fan of horror movies or clowns, an impromptu viewing of the new It film will stir a clown fetish deep inside of … Read the rest
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How to stand out in your jean jacket this semester
By Rachel Woodward, October 3 2017 —
As the weather cools off, an old trend is returning to campus. Students everywhere are digging out their parents’ old Eddie Bauer jean jackets to cover in patches, pins and other hip trinkets. … Read the rest
BREAKING NEWS: It’s so friggen cold outside
By Derek Baker, October 2 2017 —
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Why do we live in this hellscape??!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!
The air hurts my face.
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This article is part of our humour … Read the rest
Student falls asleep on CTrain, wakes up in new dimension
By Evan Lewis, September 27 2017 —
Commuting to the University of Calgary can be a long and tedious experience, particularly for those travelling from the city’s outer suburbs. Even minor technical difficulties can extend the journey significantly. However, first-year … Read the rest
U of C to bulldoze MacHall to make way for new Flames arena
By Devin Aggarwal, September 27 2017 —
After months of failed negotiations with the City of Calgary, the Calgary Flames are finally getting a new arena. The arena comes with a $500-million price tag and is slated to be built … Read the rest
Zipper-worshiping cult discovered on campus
By Frankie Hart, September 26 2017 —
Last Friday, a student who has been missing for several semesters was discovered bloodied and bruised under the Prairie Chicken. The student has requested their personal details be omitted and that they be … Read the rest