Will you fall in love this Thursden?
By Samantha Rigor, September 18 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
From O-week to the first full week of hell — I mean classes — you’ll have no shortage of new friends, but maybe not a lover this … Read the rest
Humour
Humour // Forgive me Jason Kenney, for I have sinned…
By Kristy Koehler, September 16 2019 —
Forgive me Jason Kenney, for I have sinned.
My last confession was… well… never, because this bullshit hasn’t occurred since the 1930s.
I digress.
Forgive me Jason Kenney, Oil Overlord, for I have … Read the rest
Our horoscopes know your back-to-school outfit
By Frankie Hart, September 13 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Not one to shy away from an opportunity to make an impression, you’ll show up dressed exactly identical to your professor. Weeks of preparation and internet sleuthing have … Read the rest
Observations from infiltrating orientation
By Clandestine Clown, September 11 2019 —
I look around my orientation group in fear as they loudly recite “our” faculty cheer. Hopefully, my reaction will be interpreted as first-year jitters rather than revealing that I’m used to the energy of … Read the rest
How to make friends in lecture
By Frankie Hart and Jenna Leong, September 6 2019 —
Introduce yourself on the first day:
If you’re friendly from the get-go, they’ll know you by name and face immediately.
Offer a pen:
Everyone needs some sort of writing utensil … Read the rest
Returning study abroad student acquires opposite of short-term memory loss
By Frankie Hart, September 4 2019 —
Third-year student Victor Vervelend was surprised when he realized upon returning home from studying abroad that he had developed a memory problem.
“It took a few days after coming back from Barcelona that … Read the rest
Lies to tell when someone asks about your summer
By Frankie Hart, September 3 2019 —
Everyone is settling into their fall schedules, which means one thing — swapping summer stories. But here’s the thing: you didn’t do a single thing that makes for good conversation. Whether you took … Read the rest
How will you embarrass yourself early this semester?
By Frankie Hart, September 3 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
You will wait through what feels like the longest Tim’s line of your life only to discover that you have forgotten your wallet. The line behind you … Read the rest
Campus teen finally quits Juuling, takes up smoking
By Anton Charpentier, August 29 2019 —
In a series of late-night tweets last Thursday, my friend and foreign exchange student Eli Lugisntbad vowed to the world that he would quit Juuling and instead take up smoking cigarettes. You read that … Read the rest