By Gabby Klein, October 31 2019 —
Scorpio
(Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
You’ve been waiting for this for ages, hoping to feel the searing spotlight burn itself into your eye sockets and have the roar of the crowd rattle … Read the rest
By Sophie Janos, October 23 2019 —
Scorpio
(Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
Dick or treat! Not only is it Scorpio season, but it’s also the time of Halloween spooks. Two months in with zero action whatsoever, you’ll try to … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, October 6 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
You’ll buy yourself a slice of cheesecake from Coffee Company and eat at one of those little two-seat tables by the windows. You’ll eat your cake very slowly, … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, September 23 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
You’ll get sacked from your club for bringing a fake gun to school. Yikes.
Scorpio
(Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
You’ll decide to give yourself bangs at … Read the rest
By Samantha Rigor, September 18 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
From O-week to the first full week of hell — I mean classes — you’ll have no shortage of new friends, but maybe not a lover this … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, September 13 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Not one to shy away from an opportunity to make an impression, you’ll show up dressed exactly identical to your professor. Weeks of preparation and internet sleuthing have … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, September 3 2019 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
You will wait through what feels like the longest Tim’s line of your life only to discover that you have forgotten your wallet. The line behind you … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, April 1 2019 —
Aries
(March 21 – April 19)
You’ll check your bank account and see it’s at $420.69. Nice. Oh wait, shit, make that -$420.69. Oof.
Taurus
(April 20 – May 20)
In a moment … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, March 26 2019 —
Aries
(March 21 – April 19)
There’s no way to have three ‘finstas’ and two ‘rinstas’ and not become a shell of a human being. Are you okay?
Taurus
(April 20 – May … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, March 8 2019 —
Pisces
(Feb. 19 – March 20)
Mercury is in retrograde, but you know what else it is? A hearing aid. Be sure to listen to your friends and family. Communication is a two-way … Read the rest
