First and foremost: the joys of foreplay

By Lady Marmalade, January 17 2017 —

Foreplay seems to be an all-or-nothing aspect of a relationship in terms of sex. Either your partner loves to take some sweet, sweet time to warm you up, or things hit full-throttle almost as soon as they begin.

If you have a vagina, you probably know that for most of us, it takes a little while for things to get moving downtown. Receiving oral or clitoral stimulation is — for the 80 per cent of women who cannot climax from penetration alone — very important. And with foreplay lasting an average of 20 minutes for most couples and most women taking at least 20 minutes to climax, it might be the most important part of sex.

For those with a penis, the average time needed to climax is around seven minutes. There is also a 95 per cent chance a person with a penis will climax during sex, while only 57 per cent of those with a vagina climax from having sex with a partner. This means that if you are a cis woman, you’re more likely to leave an intimate situation feeling unsatisfied. However, this can most likely be remedied by foreplay.

There are many forms of foreplay, including directly sexual methods like oral sex or stimulation with the hands or tongue on different parts of the body. Other methods include dirty talk, sexting or sending nude photos. Or as my mother would say: “helping clean the kitchen is absolutely foreplay.”

In a relationship with two partners, it is important to remember that sex is a two-way street. If you feel like you are giving more than you’re receiving, there’s no shame in openly communicating the need for more foreplay. Not only will foreplay help lubricate your sexual escapades, but building up tension before moving forward with whatever sexual activities you have in mind is sure to increase excitement and anticipation for all partners involved.

Long story short, take the extra time to warm up your lover. Try and learn new ways to build anticipation so that you can both have the best time possible. Consent and communication are key, and try to keep your mind open to new things. Hoping to try butt stuff? Definitely make sure to warm things up first.