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New student blissfully unaware of apathy awaiting him

By Fabian Mayer, September 10 2015 —

First-year student Henry Adams received a cruel shock to his system when he entered his first SOCI 201 lecture.

Adams arrived 15 minutes early and, after extensive deliberation, settled on the second row.

“I wanted to have some time to pick out the perfect seat. Somewhere near the middle with a good view but obviously not the first row,” Adams said. “I’m not some kind of keener.”

Adams said O-Week had pumped him up to engage in the pursuit of knowledge.

“I watched the class trickle in and knew that these would be my crewmates on the voyage that is a rigorous undergraduate education,” Adams said.

Just as the lecture was starting, a scruffy and disheveled-looking student shuffled past him and plopped himself into the seat beside Adams.

“I thought he was mugged on the way to class or something. He didn’t have a backpack and he didn’t even print out the syllabus!” Adams said in shock. “He looked absolutely unprepared.”

The student asked to borrow a pencil from Adams as the professor was introducing himself.

“I had just sharpened my 10-pack of Papermate HB #2s so that was no problem. I was prepared to help my fellow man,” Adams said.

Following the lending of the pencil, Adams said he was getting back into the professor’s discussion of academic integrity when he felt another poke on the shoulder followed by a hushed whisper asking if he had any paper.

“I thought it was strange because he didn’t specify whether he wanted lined, blank or graphing paper. I wound up just giving him one of each.”

Adams then watched as his neighbour wrote “soCioLogy” at the top of the page and began drawing some sort of demonic creature in the margin.

“I was about to point out that he might want to add the date to the page when I heard the prof say, ‘that’s pretty much it for the syllabus, see you next class,’” Adams said.

Adams said he couldn’t remember anything from the lecture. His notes consist of a dated piece of paper with “Sociology 201: Introduction to Sociology, Lecture 1” at the top.

“When I looked beside me there was only an empty chair and three scattered pieces of paper on the desk,” said Adams.  “I didn’t even get the guy’s name.”
Adams remained optimistic.

“I’ll just get the pencil back next class,” he said.

Adams reportedly still has not received the stolen pencil.

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