2022 SU General Election Full Supplement

Seven people you will meet in your midterms

By Jill Girgulis, October 20 2015 —

As you work your way through your midterms you will encounter all sorts of wild and wacky people. With that in mind, the Gauntlet broke down seven of the people you’ll meet in your midterms.

The sniffler: Flu season coincides directly with midterms, but that’s no excuse to cough everywhere during an AMAT 311 midterm. Chronic snifflers need to limit their breathing to mouth-only or stock up on BreatheRight® nasal strips.

The sleeper: These are perhaps the most admirable students on campus. Sleepers represent the epitome of university, as they’re too exhausted after pulling an all-nighter but still are forced to actually write the exam. Early and late exams are rife with this species, but they aren’t an issue unless you find yourself seated next to a snoring one.

The eater: Eaters are against any exams that interfere with meals, so they truck in Ziploc® baggies full of carrots and celery in protest. If you’re lucky, they might even share with you.

The racer: You never actually see these students, as they typically hand in their test before you finish bubbling in your ID number. You reassure yourself that they probably made a bunch of mistakes by rushing through the exam, but who are you kidding? They totally aced it.

The keener: 50 pencils — one for each question on the test — are lined up in a row on their desk, along with two water bottles, a rosary and a lucky rabbit’s foot. If studying won’t get these students the A they’re seeking, luck and a bottomless supply of pencils might.

The sobber: It starts as a whimpering moan, but slowly escalates to full-on sobbing. Although you try to feel sorry for them, the snot dripping from their nose and the tears they’re spraying onto your scantron are really starting to piss you off.

The hand-raiser: These students are easily identifiable, as they raise their hand for every other test question. A hand-raiser’s favorite exam seat is the middle desk of the middle row of ST 148 — they enjoy watching the professor climb over fifteen students just to get to them.

Hiring | Staff | Advertising | Contact | PDF version | Archive | Volunteer | SU

The Gauntlet