How to watch the Oscars without watching the movies
By Jill Girgulis, February 14 2017 —
The 89th annual Academy Awards are quickly approaching. With 62 nominated movies, it’s understandable if you haven’t watched them all. But don’t worry — this handy guide will tell you everything you need to know about this awards season so you can look like a true cinephile on Feb. 26.
1. La La Land has 14 nominations
It’s impossible to actually describe the plot of this movie, which tied Titanic’s record for the most nominations for a single film. Most attempts make it sound incredibly lame, so we won’t bother. Just know that when the opening song starts playing, it’s mandatory to start “ba-ba-da-ba”-ing along to the piano score. Trick your boyfriend into watching this film by telling him that you bought tickets to the Xander Cage sequel and then let the magic of director Damien Chazelle’s whimsical musical do the rest.
2. Jimmy Kimmel is hosting
The host of Jimmy Kimmel Live! will transfer his late-night television expertise to the upcoming Oscars telecast. Kimmel is the third late-night talk show personality to try his hand at hosting an awards ceremony this year, after Jimmy Fallon hosted the Golden Globe Awards in January and James Corden hosted the Grammys earlier this month.
In preparation for the big night, be aware of the longstanding “feud” between Kimmel and Matt Damon, who is nominated for Best Picture for producing Manchester by the Sea. No one will be surprised if their friendly fight somehow works its way into the ceremony — expect Twitter to erupt once Kimmel gives Damon a nice shiner.
3. No #OscarsSoWhite this year
The hashtag that flooded social media for the 2016 and 2015 Academy Awards is nowhere to be found this year, given that seven of the 20 acting nominations went to actors of colour, one of five nominated directors is black and three of the nine movies in the running for Best Picture feature predominantly black casts. Great! This obviously means that racism in America is dead and we no longer need to worry about it.
4. Suicide Squad is an Oscar nominee and Deadpool isn’t
Deadpool, an R-rated superhero movie that mocked other superhero movies — and looked good doing it — was surprisingly snubbed when the Oscar nominations were unveiled in January. However, the poorly-received Suicide Squad managed to pick up a nod for Makeup and Hairstyling. The fact that Deadpool will never call itself an Academy Award nominee is a sore spot with many viewers, so whatever you do, don’t bring this up near any Marvel fans.