By Jason Herring, September 10 2015 —
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) You will get unreasonably angry when your favourite Vietnamese sub restaurant raises their prices by 50 cents.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) You will get trapped … Read the rest
By Derek Baker, September 3 2015 —
Three students who were lost in the bookstore for four days have been found by Campus Security. The search began after the students were reported missing last Sunday.
Pundits are blaming the disappearance … Read the rest
By Melanie Woods, September 3 2015 —
Classes are back in session for the fall semester and many students are looking to get a fresh start. This often means making a good impression on your new professors so they can … Read the rest
By Melanie Woods, September 3 2015 —
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) While dancing to Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass” at Thursden, an unknown stranger will slap you in the face with a large bass fish before retreating … Read the rest
By Melanie Woods, July 23 2015 —
Cancer (June 21 – July 22) A shirtless man will break into your house looking for his cowboy hat. You will kindly inform him that Stampede is over, but he won’t seem to … Read the rest
By Fabian Mayer, March 12 2015 —
A Gauntlet investigation has revealed that the majority of the bake sales held in Science B have been selling goods that contain marijuana and other mind-altering drugs.
Eating cakes or brownies made with … Read the rest
By Melanie Woods, March 5 2015 —
1. Scramble them with some cheese and bell peppers.
2. Get together with a group of vagabonds and throw them at a political leader’s home, streaking his beautiful paned windows with the slick … Read the rest
By Kate Jacobson, March 5 2015 —
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)
In a Freaky Friday series of events, you will wake up in the body of Michael Cera. There will be no going back. This is your … Read the rest
By Sean Willett, February 26 2015 —
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
When you wake up one morning from unsettling dreams, you will find yourself changed in your bed into a monstrous vermin.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) … Read the rest
