An extremely serious review of Hail, Caesar!

By Joie Atejira, February 9 2016 —

Ethan and Joel Coen return with their latest collaboration, Hail, Caesar!, starring human rights lawyer Amal Clooney’s actor husband, Natasha Romanoff and the outstanding police officers from 21 Jump Street.

The film is set in an era with zero superhero franchises and an even less diverse Hollywood. This guarantees no whitewashed casting because only white people were around back then, right?

Hail, Caesar! circles around a studio’s famed movie star who goes missing. Yes, it’s actually about a white man in distress who needs saving — how’s that for equality, SJWs?

Other actors help in the search for Amal’s husband. Black Widow takes a break from an awful romantic subplot with the Hulk to don a bad accent and swim around a fancy pool. And officers Schmidt and Jenko, having proven themselves with their covert work in a high school and a university, are back and ready to infiltrate the film industry.

Hail, Caesar! is visually stunning, highlighting Magic Mike: Sailors Gone Wild, Black Widow’s death-defying stunts and Voldemort with a nose. The latter should be nominated for its outstanding visual effects.

Certainly, the narrative is second to the visuals, perfectly capturing neo-noir-crime-horror-comedy-drama tropes and therefore adding it to the Coen’s unidentifiable movie genre portfolio. And, in the style the Coens are known for, the film ends abruptly, finally freeing the viewer from the strangest two hours of their life.