What you’ll actually do this summer

By Jill Girgulis, April 5 2016 —

Since university keeps us busy for eight months each year, we all look forward to those coveted four summer months of freedom. Most students have big plans for their time off, but whether or not they actually see them through is another story. You may have high expectations, but the reality is much less lofty.

Sleep: Stay up until 3:00 a.m. binge-watching Friends every night, then sleep in until 3:00 p.m. the next day.

Pay off your crippling student debt: Accept a research position and contribute to the advancement of science while also earning significantly less than a McDonald’s employee.

Take a summer course: Use your last available option on organic chemistry since all your earlier choices weren’t available. Suffer endlessly.

Get some colour: Purchase a pack of pencil crayons for your adult coloring book. Spend 80 per cent of your summer avoiding the sun.

Participate in an exchange program: Complete a two-hour art class in Bowness, which used to be separate from Calgary. That counts, right?

Camp: Grab some friends and pitch a tent in your backyard with your heart set on an evening of stargazing — before remembering that the stars are too good for city slickers like you.

Go hiking: Climb a mountain — of dirty clothes, that is, since you’re too lazy to do any of your laundry.

Volunteer: Volunteer as a tribute for the 77th Hunger Games. What, you thought they were finished?

Learn to cook: Attend one cooking class, get freaked out by the double burner and vow to consume Kraft Dinner for the remainder of your adult life.

Exercise: Exercise in spirit by watching the Olympics.

Reconnect with friends: Download that new Nintendo Miitomo app and never speak to a real human being again.