Mask do’s and don’ts

By Krishna Shetye, February 17 2021—

As this global pandemic ensues, I have become a self-declared face mask connoisseur after working retail all summer wearing them. To my fellow Calgarians, I’d like to share some of my expertise about the most attractive style of mask. This flattering look, both popular yet misunderstood, is known as the “correct,” technique. The sophisticated, yet wholesome style is something everyone should try in order to polish the whole “trying to avoid getting a deadly disease” look.

Other mask fashion statements, while possibly more aesthetic, are not nearly as effective as the favoured style but nevertheless worth a mention for their VAST perks.  Here are some of my professional recommendations for the chic “Wrong. But comfortable” styles of face masks.

The Nose Shows:

Ever have a really good nose day? Maybe a new piercing you want to show off? Well this mode of mask wearing is all you need to make sure everybody nose (pardon the pun) just how sexy nostrils can be.

The Chin Sin:

During lockdown I realized how hard it was to get motivated to exercise. Well thank god for our masks! Nothing can ever be as effective in covering our new double chins.

Cloth Beard and Moustache:

Here’s a two-in-one! Who needs facial hair when we’ve got a removable beard? The best way to sport this look is to find a mask that matches your hair colour. Good luck!

Jewellery for your Ear:

Who needs piercings when we’ve got elastic gripping our ears? Sport the one sided cloth earring that can get you stares from anyone in a crowded area. Try it — I can guarantee you’ll be quite the spectacle

Sidewalk Tapestry:

Last but not least, my favourite fashion choice. Why wear masks on our face? Let’s make our city beautiful again by spreading our colourful former fashion statements. Nothing can brighten my day as much as seeing a tie dye mask stuffed in between my train seat. Way to go Calgary!

Let us know if you see any other fashionable ways people are wearing their masks! Who needs safety when we’ve got suave style? Coronavirus ain’t got nothing on our cloth earrings.

This article is part of our humour section.