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Horoscope: How the signs befriend others

By Ramiro Bustamante Torres, August 24 2022— 

Making friends can be hard especially when you don’t know how to or you don’t know if someone is trying to befriend you. Here’s a helpful guide to see how people will see your attempts and how successful they might be.


(July 23 – August 21):

They’ll make it a big deal when they tell you about their great qualities and what an amazing friend they’ve been to others. This usually comes off as arrogant but you can’t help but wage the pros and cons of being their friend.


(August 22 – September 22):

They schedule friend dates where you can maximize the time you get to talk and get to know each other, but at the same time allow for an appropriate exit strategy so they can leave if you’re not friend-material. 


(September 23 – October 22):

They’ll try and relate to everything you say about yourself however off-topic they go. You might end up in a two-hour-long story about their aunt’s friend’s dog’s uncle which has nothing to do with your recent hospital trip — but it can be intriguing regardless.


(October 23 – November 22):

You will see them as a mysterious character but all they do is answer each of your questions with another question. For example, you ask, “are you hungry?” to which they respond with a little smirk, “am I?” Once you establish they are not flirting with you but trying to be your friend, they stop doing it.


(November 23 – December 21):

In true Sagittarius fashion, they will find a way to be part of your life in any way possible. After meeting them once, you will start seeing them in your classes, at parties, at friends’ gatherings and maybe even at a family reunion, seemingly knowing at least one person there already.


(December 22 – January 20):

After silently deciding that they want to be your friend, they will start asking questions about your future plans and what you think you’ll be doing within a year, two years and three years. This will feel like a job interview when in fact they want to know you’ll be around to stay their friend and not throw their five-year plan off.


(January 21 – February 19):

You will automatically become their friend after they have considered you won’t judge them for their weird hobbies and strange words they pepper the conversation with. Every now and then they will test your limits by saying something unexpectedly or wearing something very “out there” in hopes you don’t ghost them.


(February 20 – March 20):

Sometimes they will ask you the most outrageous and personal questions within the first few hours of meeting you and if you indulge in those questions they will know they can count on you as someone they can unload their bizarre dreams on.


(March 21 – April 20):

They will test your resilience in their own way to see if you can handle them at their best. Whether it is through an outrageous story or a daring competition with them, you will see if you are worthy once they ask for a rematch or listen to your own stories. 


(April 21 – May 20):

If they decide they actually enjoy your company and not just tolerate it, they will stick to you and open up to you, even invite you to some event so you can share the experience.


(May 21 – June 21):

Once they get you alone they’ll start asking you stuff about others in a sneaky way to see if you think about others the same way they do. If you two share the same view of the horrible professor or bad job you’ve both had, they will see you as a confidant and will exchange rumours and gossip with you.


(June 22 – July 22):

At the smallest sign of friendship, they’ll start trauma dumping and if you join in on it, they will sketch your initials on a personal item of theirs and ask you to watch emotionally charged movies with them.

This article is part of our humour section.

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