If you were a ghost, how would you haunt people?

By Josie Simon, October 18 2024—

1. Which piece of furniture would you possess?

    A) Recliner

    B) Bathtub

    C) Desk

    D) Rocking chair

    E) Piano

2. What’s your favourite type of weather?

    A) Gentle rain

    B) Misty heat

    C) Crisp autumn

    D) Stormy night

    E) Foggy morning

3. Which magical power do you want?

    A) Time travel

    B) Invisibility

    C) Telepathy

    D) Shape-shifting

    E) Telekinesis

4. Which fairy tale character are you?

    A) Cinderella

    B) Puss in Boots

    C) Little Red Riding Hood

    D) Peter Pan

    E) Rumpelstiltskin

5. What’s your midnight snack of choice?

    A) Popcorn

    B) Cereal

    C) Cinnamon rolls

    D) Dark chocolate

    E) Spicy chips

6. Choose an unconventional pet:

    A) Mini elephant

    B) Iguana wearing a hat

    C) Mail-delivering crow

    D) Three-eyed cat

    E) Pet rock with a personality

7. If you could choose a political system to live under, which would you prefer?

    A) Democracy 

    B) Monarchy  

    C) Futuristic technocracy  

    D) Eco-socialist state  

    E) Anarchism

8. What’s your favourite puzzle?

    A) Jigsaw

    B) Riddles

    C) Sudoku

    D) Escape rooms

    E) Cryptic crossword

9. If you saw an elderly person slip on ice, what would you do?

    A) Rush to help 

    B) Call for help 

    C) Observe 

    D) Walk away 

    E) Laugh nervously 

10.  What’s your favourite sound?

     A) Crackling fire

     B) Rain

     C) Ocean waves 

     D) Wind

     E) Birds chirping 

11. What size coffee do you usually order?

    A) Small

    B) Medium

    C) Large

    D) Extra-Large

    E) I don’t drink coffee

12. How do you spend a lazy afternoon?

     A) TV binge

     B) Bubble bath

     C) Reading

     D) Napping

     E) None of the above 

Mostly A’s: The TV Lover

Even as a ghost, your love for late-night TV endures. As a broke student, you missed out on pricey streaming services, but now you haunt others’ living rooms, indulging in classics like Gilmore Girls and Sex and the City.

Mostly B’s: The Denialist

You wander through familiar places, stubbornly convinced that you’re still alive. You were always the type to avoid facing the truth, and now your denial is stronger than ever. Instead of embracing your new reality, you cling to the past, pretending everything is just as it used to be.

Mostly C’s: The Anarchist

You’re here to see the world burn. Instead of focusing on helping others, you revel in creating chaos and igniting rebellion. Social justice isn’t your priority; you thrive on challenging the status quo.

Mostly D’s: The Rule Follower 

Too many horror movies turned you into the classic ghost. You’re all about spooky noises and creaky floors because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do. You stuck to rules in life, but maybe it’s time to try something different in the afterlife.

Mostly E’s: The Psycho

Revenge is your game. You love haunting those who did you wrong, getting a kick out of their misery. You spend your afterlife being a total menace, savouring the discomfort and dread you instill in others.

This article is part of our humour section.