By Frankie Hart, January 23 2020 —
In the early afternoon of Jan. 20, a mess was forming in MacHall. A student was surrounded by a fortress-like collection of coffee cups, inconveniencing surrounding students from passing through. She was unaware … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, January 22 2020 —
Aquarius
(Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
You’ll be perturbed when checking Co–Star to see that its message is simply, “Where are you?” Oh god, you knew it. You’re living in a simulation.
Pisces… Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, January 17 2019 —
The Board of Governors took a vote on Jan. 10 to dramatically increase the presence of locusts on campus, from zero to upwards of 100,000. Students are understandably concerned about this decision, and … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, December 6 2019 —
Sagittarius
(Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
After failing to reach your 2019 goal of becoming TikTok famous, you will resolve to make more reasonable resolutions.
Capricorn
(Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
You’ll resolve … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, November 29 2019 —
Do you often find yourself farting around, doing nothing of worth, despite being fully aware of everything that you should be doing? Do you often continue to do nothing of worth despite this … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, November 28 2018 —
Sagittarius
(Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
“Old Town Road” feat. Billy Ray Cyrus by Lil Nas X
Based on your final exam marks, you will either ride a horse or drink lean at … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, November 23 2019 —
Disney+ just launched, and many have already signed up for the $8.99 per month subscriptions that will kick in once they forget to cancel their free trials. It’s a very exciting time to … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, November 22 2019 —
Scorpio
(Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
It’s recently been made apparent to you that you have haters. Try not to get stuck in your feelings about it. Focus on the positives — you … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, November 8 2019 —
On Oct. 24, second-year student Sam Starnuto got a flu shot in the MacHall North Courtyard expecting a normal vaccination, but something unusual happened.
“So, I was feeling kinda funky after the shot,” said … Read the rest
By Frankie Hart, November 7 2019 —
After your second year, you start to realize that you’ve lost track of most of your graduating class. Do you think that one couple is still together? What’s the shy kid up to? … Read the rest
