Illustration by Tricia Lim

Where are they now: People you went to high school with

By Frankie Hart, November 7 2019 —

After your second year, you start to realize that you’ve lost track of most of your graduating class. Do you think that one couple is still together? What’s the shy kid up to? Do you think those kids that used to eat in the quieter part of the school are still… you know… like that? If you take a perusing down the ol’ memory lane, perhaps aided by some lurking on Facebook and Instagram, here are some character’s you’ll catch up with:

The girl pretending she wasn’t in an MLM:

It’s inevitable that some people you went to high school with would get sucked into a multi-level marketing scheme. Whether it was the lipstick that would burn your skin or the leggings that would arrive in the mail wet, she was in your DMs trying to sell it to you. But now, a whole half year later, she’s different. Her old posts about her products are buried under a steady stream of normal posts that don’t advertise anti-ageing skin cream. She seems to think that if she posts enough mom-type memes about wine, that everyone will simply forget that she used to use her high school acquaintances as a potential customer base. But is there ever a way to rebuild a connection with somebody who tried to sell you Herbalife because they saw that you “could stand to lose a few?”

The guy who has no social media:

You looked up this guy on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter — nothing. You search up his name in Spotify, Skype, Steam, any social site with a search bar, still nothing. You cautiously enter his name in Google with the word “obituary,” and luckily for him, get nothing. Where did he go? I guess we’ll never know.

The couple with a kid:

This couple seems to exist for the sole purpose of freaking you out about the reality of your age. They’re married and are responsible for a human baby, and you spent the weekend on TikTok while eating an entire package of Lofthouse cookies. If things had gone differently, maybe you’d be the one with a baby. Ew, that’s terrifying, don’t think about that.

The car guy:

Thanks to his social media, you have access to countless photos and every intricate detail of his car. Although you can’t gather from any of this what he looks like now, where he works, if he’s single or what he’s been up to besides taking pictures of his car, it seems like he’s enjoying himself. Good for him.

The girl who works at the salon you went to once:

You didn’t expect to see anyone you knew while out to get a haircut, but next thing you know, you’re asking her about the appointment you booked for that day. You can’t tell if she recognizes you, and you don’t really expect her to since you didn’t have any classes together. But as she seats you and washes your hair, you realize that despite not having any classes together, you still recognized her. Does that mean she recognized you? Is she pretending to not recognize you because it’s her job to wash your hair and massage your scalp before passing you on to a hairstylist? Well, certainly it would be weird to say something now since it’s been a solid five minutes since you started this interaction. You decide the best course of action is to simply close your eyes and wait for the moment to pass. You’ll get ‘em next time.

This article is part of our humour section.


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