The Gauntlet® Opinions - At the expense of your dignity

Editor, the Gauntlet,

Last Friday (Sept. 26) a friend invited me out to The Back Alley for a beer. I'm a Master's student, in Applied Psychology, and I just moved here from Victoria last month. Besides the snow in September, Calgary wasn't bad at all.

As I walked past the pick-up trucks with the Micky-T super swampers, I was feeling a bit anxious. Not because I'm a social recluse or a bookworm that never leaves his office, but because I'm black. I'm a big, black guy--6ïz´7ï›¸, 350 pounds.. Some may ask, "What's a black guy doing at The Back Alley?" I would ask, "Why can't a Black guy go to the Back Alley?"

I walk in and before I can pay cover or show my ID, the doorman asks me: "What are you doing here? Big coloured fella like yourself." He unhooks the red velvet rope, and lets me pass. "Walk straight ahead, cover is five bucks." So I smiled to ease his racism, laughed and asked "Why? Will I be the only one of 'me' in there?"

He ended up letting me in as a guest. Maybe because he thought I would never come back or maybe he quickly replayed the tape in his head and thought, "Maybe I shouldn't have said that." Strangely enough what bothers me most about the experience, is to ease his discomfort with his racism, I laughed and joked about his racist remarks, at the expense of my own dignity.

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Posted: 2003-10-14 10:33:35
#1 - Derrick,
I think that you had the upper hand here. I believe that, you not reducing yourself to his level of ignorance shows that you are a better man than he will probably ever be. I would have to say that your dignity is still very much in tact.
Take Care

–Kat

Posted: 2003-10-16 10:20:12
#2 - Dear Kat. Thank you for your kind words. Your comments raise an interesting question. Would confronting him be "lowering myself to his level"? Should his "ignorance" give him a free ticket to discriminate whomever he wishes? If I confront him, I then feed the stereotype of being yet another "militant" person of colour, because his comments came with a, "It's-just-a-joke" smile. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Unfortunately, it was my level of internalized racism, combined with his socially contructed position of "Privilege" as a White male, that created the dialogue between us. But a very sincere thank you for creating further discussion and thought.

–Derrick Shirley, Student

Posted: 2003-10-16 13:07:45
#3 - Remember, everybody loves you in Newfoundland!!!

–Gillian Hiscock, IT Consultant

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