Don’t go to online porn for your sex-ed
By Lady Marmalade, November 15 2016 —
When I was in grade eight, my math teacher had to teach my class how babies are made and she failed miserably. Not only did her “sex-ed” consist of Googled images of herpes and genital warts to scare us into abstinence, but something she said during these two days of “human sexuality” really stuck with me: “If you ever try that shit they do in porn, you’re going to turn around and get a slap across the face.”
It wasn’t until I really started to watch porn that I understood what she meant. When I was younger and had no idea what sex between two people looked like, porn was my only example.
Looking back on this situation now, it freaks me out. There’s nothing comforting about knowing videos like “Teen Loves Huge Cock: Nerdy Leah Takes a Pounding” are trending in the online porn community. And while maybe Nerdy Leah does love huge cock, what kind of impression does this leave on younger generations about safe and consensual sexual practices?
It’s difficult to find videos on porn sites with explicit consent present — in fact, many videos increase their views by portraying some sort of force being used to make the video. Knowing now what I do about sex and consent, this is deeply unsettling.
For young people exploring these websites to search for some knowledge about sex or an outlet to explore their sexuality, porn can be a harmful medium. I wholeheartedly believe that the Internet is an invaluable resource to learn about sexuality, consent, safe practices and to connect with others regarding sex. But the mass-produced and highly-accessible porn industry hinders efforts to explore sex in a realistic and safe way.
One problem with porn is that when indulging in this medium during “solo-play” or even with a partner is that desensitization can easily occur. It can get harder and harder to get off when watching videos of various intensities and with different content.
If watching blowjobs are your thing, it could start with an “amateur gentle blowjob” but eventually the only thing that works is the most intense forced deepthroats. My younger self was no stranger to porn-binges and I know that the more “tame” videos slowly had less of an effect on me.
There’s nothing wrong with using the Internet to explore sexuality and porn has the potential to become a valuable learning tool. But there are also some pretty harmful doors that are easily opened. Be critical of what you watch on the Internet and the effect it has on your view of your sexuality.