Your future be like that sometimes

By Derek Baker, November 26 2018 —

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

You’ll accidentally screenshot a Snapchat story of your junior high ex’s wild night out. You have not talked to them in at least seven years. It be like that sometimes.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

You said you’d figure out what you wanted to do during your degree. Well, you have one semester left of your undergrad and nothing lined up after. It be like that sometimes.

Aquarius

(Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

You’ll find out that the hot person you met at the bar and went home with is actually your estranged second cousin. You’ll find this out at the family reunion. It be like that sometimes.

Pisces

(Feb. 19 – March 20)

You’ll mix up the days of your exams, thinking that you’re about to write your Greek and Roman studies final when really today is your calculus final. Those olive tree facts won’t help you here. It be like that sometimes.

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

There will be no ketchup left in the ketchup dispenser at the Carl’s Jr. in MacHall. You’ll have to eat your onion rings plain. It be like that sometimes.

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

Life will come at you fast. So will that exam. And the expiration date on your milk. And your premature death. It be like that sometimes.

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

After opening up your exam booklet, you’ll realize you won’t be able to answer the first question. Or the second one. Or the third one. The exam is worth 50 per cent of your grade. It be like that sometimes.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

The book from TFDL that you need as a source for your term paper will be loaned out until January 2019. You’ll haphazardly put together a citation from the two-page preview on Google Books. It be like that sometimes.

Leo

(July 23 – Aug. 22)

You’ll stand on the curb on a blustery -20 C day waiting for the bus. The bus will be full and drive right past you. The next one will be delayed. It be like that sometimes.

Virgo

(Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Your car won’t start on the morning of your zoology final. While trying to jumpstart it, you’ll electrocute yourself. It be like that sometimes.

Libra

(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

You’re really excited for the winter break so that you can play a new video game that just came out. You’ll spend the entire break alone in your pyjamas. It be like that sometimes.

Scorpio

(Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Over this winter break, you’ll manage to make it an entire five minutes into your family dinner before your family starts roasting you and your life choices. Congratulations, that’s a new record! It be like that sometimes.