Will you fall in love this Thursden?

By Samantha Rigor, September 18 2019 —

Libra

(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

From O-week to the first full week of hell — I mean classes — you’ll have no shortage of new friends, but maybe not a lover this time round. Unless…?

Scorpio

(Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Maybe you’ll meet someone new in that awful UPass line in Science B. You’ll head to Thursden for a date and finish the night on a romantic stroll past the UPass line for old times’ sake.

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

You took full advantage of The Den’s drink pricing on Thursdays. You say the wrong thing to a date, pretend that it didn’t just happen and look around The Den as if a football guy eating a whole pizza like a taco is the most interesting thing ever.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Treat yourself right this Thursden! Have fun! Order whatever you want. After all, summer’s over! How are you going to love someone else if you can’t love yourself. #freshman15

Aquarius

(Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

You’ve enrolled in two horrible classes this term and will come to regret it after experiencing a whole week of them. Instead of finding love at Thursden, you open your phone to find a substitute class.

Pisces

(Feb. 19 – March 20)

You find yourself at The Den, keeping an eye out and someone special makes their way out of the dimly lit crowd amidst those fat beats. The figure approaches and it’s PeTeR TrAcEy.

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

Have your heart — and stomach — open for what Thursden has to offer. Just be sure you’re prepared to open them back up for returning those offers back up in the toilet. You know how they say to find love in unexpected places. Who’s that holding your hair?

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

Highlights of this Thursden will just include chowing down enough half-price pizzas to last you into midterms with your best buddies. Who says Thursden has to be about romance?

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Take a chance! Take Thursden as a sign of luck. Instead of confessing anonymously to ucalgaryconfessions on Instagram, shoot your shot towards that special someone and hand them a note asking “Do you like me? Yes or no.”

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

You’ll find yourself relaxing amidst the streetlamps and tropical plants in the atrium instead of partying at Thursden. Plants will always be there for you. Plants are friends, not food.

Leo

(July 23 – Aug. 22)

Your love life resembles the Rundle elevator. It hits home and doesn’t go anywhere.

Virgo

(Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

You ask a server for a serving of love. They give you a burger.