Horoscope: What Halloween candy are the signs?

By Josie Simon, October 27 2022—

Whether handing out candy, watching a scary movie with your sneaky link, or studying for midterms on Oct. 31, we all have the same question — what Halloween candy best represents me? To answer this, we turn to the stars.

SCORPIO

(Oct 23 – Nov 22):

You’re cunning, ruthless, vindictive and secretive. There is an air of mystery around you that others can’t help but admire. Like a Caramilk bar, you’re feared by most.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov 23 – Dec 21):

You’re an independent risk-taker who loves honest and intellectual conversations. You’re a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, optimistic, outgoing, but sometimes over-confident.

CAPRICORN

(Dec 22 – Jan 19):

Your enthusiasm and drive inspire those around you. Like a Snickers bar, you’re emotionally complex and bold. However, you often crack under pressure.

AQUARIUS

(Jan 20 – Feb 18):

You’re hesitant to express your true feelings to the outside world. Like M&M’s, you appear strong on the surface — but, you’re emotionally fragile deep inside.

PISCES

(Feb 19 – Mar 20):

Since you were late to your ECON class last Wednesday, your psychic abilities have intensified. Kit Kat bars are similarly supernatural. Like you, they’re wise and intuitive.

ARIES

(Mar 21 – Apr 20):

You are impatient, reckless and often selfish. However, most people find you quite charming. No other candy matches you more than Warheads. They are unique, aggressive and direct — just like you.

TAURUS

(Apr 21 – May 20):

Like Pop Rocks, you’re short-tempered and prone to burnout. While exciting to be around, you tire quickly and often leave a bad impression.

GEMINI

(May 21 – June 21):

You’re two-faced and judgemental. However, deep inside, you crave love and acceptance, just like Candy Corn.

CANCER

(June 22 – July 22):

Your emotional and sentimental tendencies are charming to some and irritating to others. Rockets exemplify your loyalty and sensitivity. They’re consistent and reserved, just like you.

LEO

(July 23 – Aug 21):

Your lack of self-awareness is getting out of hand. You are a Tootsie Pop, relentless, tenacious and egoistic.

VIRGO

(Aug 22 – Sept 22):

Recently, you’ve been over-studying and ignoring your basic needs. Like a Coffee Crisp, you prioritize productivity, sensibility and practicality over pleasure and joy.

LIBRA

(Sept 23 – Oct 22):

There is no candy that matches your friendly and extroverted personality like Skittles. You feel deeply and often sacrifice your own happiness for the benefit of others.

This article is part of our humour section.