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Search for: frankie hart
Zipper-worshiping cult discovered on campus
By Frankie Hart, September 26 2017 —
Last Friday, a student who has been missing for several semesters was discovered bloodied and bruised under the Prairie Chicken. The student has requested their personal details be omitted and that they be … Read the rest
What trashy Buzzfeed quiz should you take next?
By Frankie Hart, September 19 2017 —
It’s 3 a.m. and your alarm will ring in a few hours. You haven’t even started the paper that’s due at 9. Unfortunately, you’ve stumbled into an endless hole of Buzzfeed quizzes. You … Read the rest
What kind of first-year student are you?
By Frankie Hart, September 14 2017 —
This year’s Orientation Week welcomed thousands of first-year students to campus. The event is a University of Calgary tradition that prepares new students for campus life. Based on your decisions throughout O-Week, how … Read the rest
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Thesaurus unlocks unrestrained potential for English major
By Frankie Hart, March 28 2017 —
Long-retired are the days of mediocre essay grades for first-year English student Arthur Doyle. After discovering the absolute capacity of an elementary, commonplace, prosaic thesaurus, Doyle announced that he has found the nexus … Read the rest
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Spice up your sex life with these hot tips
By Frankie Hart, January 31 2017 —
Sometimes having sex exclusively missionary style, under the covers, lights off between 8:00 – 10:00 p.m. on a Friday night just doesn’t have the same kick it used to. To add some … Read the rest
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What will you do when the New Year vibes fizzle into the staleness of mid-January?
By Frankie Hart, January 17 2017 —
Capricorn
(Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
You’ll realize that all of your hopes and dreams are more easily attainable in the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app. Yes, everyone stopped playing it in 2014, … Read the rest
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Gauntlet volunteer has already hit rock bottom after writing only three articles
By Frankie Hart, October 25 2016 —
Student and Gauntlet volunteer Hankie Fart has decided that she will yet again put off her history paper by writing another article for the Gauntlet.
“I heard that extracurriculars are equally — if … Read the rest
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Will the planets align for you to pass your midterms?
By Frankie Hart, October 28 2016 —
Libra
(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
We don’t know what you did to piss off the planets this time, dear Libra, but they’re ready to wreck your shit. Triple-check your alarm the … Read the rest
Six new noodle recipes
By Frankie Hart, October 11 2016 —
It’s almost halfway through the semester. If you live in residence you’ve probably spent almost all your food-plan money again. It’s time to turn to the notorious life-saving student-budget classic of instant … Read the rest