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Seven superpowers that all students have

By Jill Girgulis, March 29 2016 —

We would all like to have superpowers. Superheroes defy the known laws of the universe. However, making it through university is probably more challenging than whatever superheroes have to face. With that in mind, here are seven undergraduate superpowers that all students have.

Speed-reading: Two-hundred-and-forty pages of sociology to read before tomorrow’s 50 per cent final? No problem!

Psychic abilities: How did your classmate know the professor was going to test on a specific concept they promised wouldn’t be on the exam? The answer — he’s psychic.

Invisibility: This is the only explanation for that one kid who never comes to lectures, leaves the final early and still gets the highest mark in the class.

Iron liver: Any undergrad with Thursden tendencies most likely employs this superpower to make it through Friday labs and lectures.

Sleeplessness: If you take a walk through campus you will likely discover several individuals with the ability to perform necessary daily tasks on zero hours of sleep.

X-ray vision: This ability is often put to good use when students want to see if it’s worth it to remove the plastic wrap from their new $275 economics textbook.

Flying: If someone can make it from EEEL to Scurfield Hall in less than 10 minutes with time for a bathroom break and a coffee, they must have flown.

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