Sequel to U of C, “University of Calgary 2,” announced

By Evan Lewis, September 16 2018 —

In a press bulletin over the weekend, the team behind the original University of Calgary announced a sequel, tentatively titled “University of Calgary 2,” with a release date set for September 2019.

“Sequels are great. Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Mamma Mia. Everyone’s doing sequels and reboots right now, so we thought, ‘Why can’t we?’ ” President Elizabeth Cannon said in an announcement over the weekend. “People definitely want this, and even if they don’t, our massive and overbearing marketing campaign will convince them that they do.”

This is the first time anyone has attempted to release an official sequel to a post-secondary institution, but Cannon and other members of the sequel’s creative team seem confident that this creation will draw “box-office success.” They cited the fact that the U of C was “Originally a spin-off series from the University of Alberta, so this sort of thing has totally worked before.”

Students have so far been reported being “confused” and “unsure how exactly you can make a sequel to a school.” Others have stated that they are just hoping that they’ll still be able to graduate in a year. Cannon has been quick to address these concerns, stating in a second bulletin that students will indeed have to take their degree a second time, “To get the full experience. Otherwise, what’s the point of it all?”

Merchandising rights have been established, with new official “Rex O’Saurus” and “The Car That Engineering Hung From The Entry Arch That One Time” action figures coming out prior to University of Calgary 2’s release date. These will be accompanied by new clothing, accessories and stationery with University branding and mottos plastered on.

The announcement presentation concluded with Cannon saying that there may be more sequels to come.
“We think the University of Calgary is something that fans are really invested in. We want to keep expanding the franchise until we’ve milked this cash cow for everything it’s worth,” she said.

Fans can expect University of Calgary 3 through 9 to release over the next decade, with spin-offs such as ‘Rex: A Dino’s Story’ to come out in years between.

This article is part of our humour section.