SU Presidential Candidate Horoscopes

By Cristina Paolozzi and Frankie Hart, February 28 2020—

There seems to be a surge of interest in astrology lately, with the rise of astrology apps and horoscope-themed Instagram pages. We gathered the birth charts of the three candidates for Students’ Union president and will see who the stars endorse, based on horoscopes alone.

Frank Finley:

Finley’s sun sign is in Leo, which means he’s bold and a little bit prideful. Leos crave attention, but are able to cheer people up easily. Leos also know exactly what they do and do not like — they know exactly what they’re good at and how to make their dreams into a reality. Leos are also considered natural-born leaders, which is a handy trait for a would-be SU president. However, Leos are also known to be annoyingly full of themselves. At least Finley doesn’t appear to have any quirky, Jennifer Lawrence-isms. If he’s elected, he better not trip on his way to make a speech.

Finley’s moon sign, which reflects the more emotional side of an individual, is in Aquarius. This means that Finley can be described as observational and more rational. This also means that Finley could be feeling detached and not really in tune with his true feelings. That’s a bit heavy, but could be insightful, as making keen observations regarding what the SU needs to do for students this upcoming year is definitely a good thing. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come at the cost of Finley needing to “conceal, don’t feel” to the extent of running away to shut himself into a giant ice castle made using his magical ice powers. Or something like that.

Lastly, Finley’s rising sign, which can be described as the façade someone usually shows to the outside world, is in Gemini. This means the stars describe Finley as chatty, talkative and quick-witted. However, this also means Finley can come across as inconsistent sometimes. Consistency is key, especially when campaigning. A talkative nature probably won’t be too much of an issue. Spending half an hour giving a classroom talk could be a blessing or a curse. 

Mercury will be in retrograde in Pisces until Mar. 10. Its effect on Leos specifically is that it will make them a bit lazier than ambitious Leos are normally used to. This could be a problem, as SU campaign season is usually hectic and chaotic. If you catch Finley napping on a couch on the third floor of MacHall, he is theoretically in his right to blame it on Mercury being in retrograde. This opportunity doesn’t come often.

Leam Dunn:

Dunn is interesting as both of his sun and moon signs are in Aquarius. Someone with both their sun and moon signs in Aquarius embodies marching to the beat of their own drum and is comfortable with rebelling against the norm while also feeling as though they are inhabiting their own world. This creates a certain underdog spirit within Dunn, as his signs indicate he has a tendency to carry a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. Theoretically, this would be beneficial for a possible SU president, but based on his campaign, this may not necessarily be Dunn’s goal. Aquarians also have a reputation for being “kinda quirky” — one notable Aquarius being Yoko Ono. You never know, maybe at the end of his campaign, Dunn will reveal that the whole thing was an interactive theatrical performance. That could make a lot of things make more sense, actually.

Dunn’s rising sign is in Sagittarius, which means he comes off as an independent spirit that is confident but can sometimes be blunt and critical. This could spell trouble as being tactful is key for an SU president. However, as he’s running a joke campaign, maybe it just means he’ll campaign by riding into MacHall on a horse, shooting people with toy arrows. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what the stars are trying to say.

This Mercury retrograde will negatively affect Dunn twice over as a double Aquarius. He will be dissatisfied with everything and remain sulky, finding a hard time being satisfied with himself and others. This could be an issue for a presidential campaign, but if he taps into his Sagittarius rising he might be able to overcome this hurdle. You know what else could overcome a hurdle? Horses. If you’re reading this, Dunn, you might want to consider the stars’ advice on riding into MacHall on a gallant steed.

Quinn Stevenson:

Stevenson’s sun sign is in Libra, which is a sign stereotypically associated with justice and being fair — the scales of justice are this sign’s astrological symbol. Libras are often praised for being able to see both sides of an issue, which could be useful as a future leader. Libras are usually thinking and rethinking the way they see the world and are extremely impressionable. This sign is also associated with indecision and insecurity, which could be a problem. Libras can find themselves being fake out of fear of being disliked. Thankfully, it seems unlikely that Stevenson would use the position of SU president to put out a survey asking, “Do you like me? Yes or no.”

Stevenson’s moon sign is in Cancer, which generally indicates sensitivity and empathy. Cancer moons can also have a hard time letting things go and secretly feel like they’ll be abandoned. Damn — that’s rough. However, it’s a good quality to be sensitive towards students, as a future SU president needs to be understanding towards student issues and what is affecting them the most. Cancer signs are also known for dealing with criticism poorly. Well, if he’s reading this, hopefully he’s not too “crabby” about it. Haha, get it? Crab.

Stevenson’s rising sign is in Taurus, which suggests he comes off as more in tune with the material or practical needs. This sign also suggests stability and reliability, which are great qualities to have in a possible leader. A Taurus rising can also give off an impression of stubbornness — it is a bull, after all. If you see Stevenson winding up to charge at one of Finley’s posters, just know it isn’t personal, or even related to the presidential race. It’s simply the bright red background.

With Mercury retrograde in Pisces, Stevenson should be aware that connection and communication will be spotty. Contracts or agreements may be thrown off, which is not great news for someone waiting on election results. Old friends or co-workers may pop up, which could be good or bad, depending on how Stevenson handles things. If he knows how to handle a note saying, “I know what you did last summer” suddenly appearing, then he would surely be able to handle the role of SU president.

Depending on what the candidates do with the evidence and advice the stars present, it really could be anybody’s race. All three candidates have something unique to bring to the table, and all have different attributes that could help or hinder them this election season. Finley and Stevenson present reliable characteristics that could be beneficial to the University of Calgary community. The main message we’ve received from the stars regarding Dunn’s campaign is that he would greatly benefit from incorporating more horses into his platform and campaign — maybe just in his life in general.

This article is part of our humour section.