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What festival stereotypes are the signs?

By Pavni Bakhshi and Nazeefa Ahmed, June 7 2024—

Festivals are not complete without their stereotypes. Whether or not you agree with your caricature is not the point—it’s about how you embody the spirit of the season. Festivals are a great time to try to be someone else for a night and forget it all happened the morning after. Under the fireworks, the blaring speakers and the pulsing lights, you come to the ever present realization that nothing is ever that deep. So, be the life of the party, end your three-year situationship and finally catch the phantom festival shitter—anything is possible while living it up under the stars.

Though festivals are a lot of fun, they can be unsafe if you do not take the proper precautions. Always make sure to go with a group, pick a designated driver and always cover your drinks. If anything goes wrong, know who to call and make sure that someone knows your location at all times.

Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

The Philosopher: You drink a couple of drinks and then you can be seen holding your own stage, gathering followers and telling them how the world is scamming them. They will leave you shaken beyond belief and will wonder where they are going wrong in life. You’ll inspire them to think about the revolution, only to vanish from their lives as quickly as you appeared. They may never see you again, but they’ll never forget the impact you had on them or how much fun the festival was before your eye-opening speech.

Pisces (February 19–March 20)

The Mooning Myrtle: You’re not there for the party, your mind is the party. Drinks and people are fun and all, but you will be just as happy chilling by yourself, sipping from your glass occasionally. Try to stay in those moments with your people as these are the moments you will look back to fondly.  

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Party Animal: Is there even a party if you are not there? You know just how to connect to everyone and get them in the mood to start a rager. Social anxiety? Who is she? You make the moment yours and shine. 

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

The Mother: While your friends are busy trying to launch onto the stage, you’re the one holding their bags, searching frantically for lost phones and spending the entire night worrying about everyone’s safety. In the midst of this, you forget to have a good time. Remember, you can have fun too.   

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Social Butterfly: Social anxiety has nothing on you. Unlike your peers who are stuck in their friend groups, you treat festivals as a makeshift LinkedIn — many snapchats, instagrams and numbers are exchanged in the mosh pit and you may have an internship in your hands!  

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Drunk Crybaby: Being a summer baby, the minute a DJ turns on an EDM remix, something primal in you lights up. A combination of pregaming and after-party drinks sends you into an overwhelming display of emotion that you will regret the next more morning, more often than not. 

Leo (July 23–August 22)

Let me take a selfie: Snap, snap, snap — you hit all the angles and come across as the cool, carefree festival-goer that you are. Your photos and stories are getting reposted on Pinterest, and by the end of the festival, you’ll have a gallery full of memories and a surge in likes and followers.  You may get stares, but who cares? This is your world and they are just living in it. 

Virgo (August 23–September 22)

The Third Wheel: This is not such a bad thing! While the couple spends the night sucking face, you are free to go wherever you want. Dance the night away, enlist a sugar daddy (making sure it aligns with your financial goals) and sign up for a pyramid scheme — the only thing you need to stay sane is inner peace.

Libra (September 23–October 22)

The Fashionista: Your festival outfits blow everyone away all the time — thrifted go-go boots, gas station sunglasses and loud prints set the tone of the evening. Never mind your aching feet — fashion is pain and you take it with a smile.    

Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

The Mysterious Stranger: You know you set off conversations and you thrive off it. No one knows you but you know everyone and their secrets. The perks of being a festival wallflower is that you see all, you know all but you never reveal anything — you leave festivals with a pocket full of blackmail material. 

Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

The Moshers: Ain’t nobody standing in your way or they won’t know what hit them. You will hype the party to unknown heights and take everyone along for the ride to be as carefree as you are. Make sure you don’t get lost in this ride. Your spontaneity and enthusiasm are contagious, but remember to keep a tether to reality as you lead the charge into the night.

Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

The Bartender: You know just how to get everyone in the scene. You plan the party with the vibe in mind and will happily enjoy sitting back, making drinks for your friends and hanging out with them. But, buddy, let loose a little. Go wild dancing to that song you love and don’t let your fears hold you back.  

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