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Reasons why this Good Friday will be just okay

By Frankie Hart, March 28 2019 —

On April 19, there’s a day labelled ‘Good Friday’ on my calendar. What’s so good about it, huh? Oh, a dude died on it? Then why’d you call it good? 

Here are some reasons why this Good Friday is just kind of meh:

It’s James Franco’s birthday:

This dude kinda sucks.

The long-range forecasts predict it will be 11 C and partly sunny:

That doesn’t sound nearly warm enough for that deep into April. We’re supposed to pretend this is good?

People don’t commit enough to calling it ‘Great Friday’:

According to Wikipedia, the day is also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday and Black Friday. All three of these are more impressive titles than ‘Good Friday.’ Yet, on the calendar, it says Good Friday. Cowards.

It’s Suge Knight’s birthday:

I saw one (1) conspiracy video about the murder of Biggie Smalls and I’m thoroughly convinced Suge did it. If anything, I’m starting to think this is will be a bad Friday.

People don’t really do anything for Good Friday:

Do you mean to tell me that it’s called ‘Good Friday’ and the best you can hope for is that mom might make hot cross buns? In the words of Shania Twain, that don’t impress-a me much.

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