By Josie Simon, January 15 2024—
Are you tired of delivering lacklustre, forgettable presentations? Follow our tips and prepare to captivate your audience with unforgettable presentation techniques that will leave a lasting impression.
1. Sing “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban: Transport your audience back to the early 2000s with a classic suburban mom favourite: Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up,” because nothing says a memorable final presentation like triggering repressed memories of family road trips with constant repeat of cheesy hits while being trapped inside a minivan with no means of escape.
2. Avoid using “the” at all costs: It is time to revolutionize the English language, folks. The word “the” is overrated anyway. Remove it from your vocabulary entirely while presenting. Watch your classmates tilt their heads in bewilderment as you skillfully avoid the most used word in the English language.
3. Embrace third-person madness: Imagine yourself as the ruler of your presentation kingdom. Assert your dominance by referring to yourself in the third person, such as “Josie would like to present now.” Impress upon your audience that you are not simply a student delivering a presentation but the master of ceremonies.
4. Pay tribute to Karl Marx: Take a bold step and dedicate your final moments to the ghost of Karl Marx. Sacrifice, metaphorically speaking, your professor to the ghost of Marx while quoting passages from “The Communist Manifesto” for added effect. Workers of the world, unite!
5. Unleash MLM mayhem: Introduce your classmates to the intriguing multi-level marketing (MLM) world and lure them into investing. But let’s face it: anyone with common sense would think twice before investing in a venture led by someone they barely know, who lacks credentials and has a sketchy track record.
6. Go live on TikTok: Start your presentation with an innovative twist by going live on TikTok and asking for gifts from your virtual audience. Encourage your classmates to do the same, creating a chaotic yet unforgettable experience of creeps lurking in the shadows, generously donating a couple of dollars in exchange for fleeting moments of questionable entertainment.
7. Interpretive dance to “The Hanging Tree” by Rachel Zegler (from The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes): Immerse yourself in a dystopian realm as you interpretive dance to Rachel Zegler’s haunting “The Hanging Tree.” With somersaults and pirouettes, embody the suffocating hold of tyranny and the indomitable spirit of defiance. Leave your audience with a bone-chilling contemplation of the repercussions of unchecked authority.
Be brave, take risks, and dare to stand out from the crowd. You might not get an A, but you will be remembered as someone who challenged societal norms and forged their own path in life.
This article is part of our humour section.