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U of C covers up Triwizard Tournament with noisy construction

By Mihret Amdu Yirgeta, June 20 2022

Over the past couple of years, and especially over the past few months, the University of Calgary’s main campus has been under heavy construction. With the recent completion of Haskayne’s Mathison Hall and the opening of MacKimmie Tower, it clearly seems that all the construction is to expand the campus. However, sources have come forward reporting that the construction on campus is actually a front. The administration is using it as a distraction as they build a much more dangerous structure — the Triwizard Tournament Maze.

“It has been a lot of work transporting all those creatures for the maze,” said one of the contractors working on the project. “The dragons have been especially challenging. Do you know how much work it is to sneak in a 25 foot, fire breathing lizard under the noses of over 10 thousand students? A lot, that’s how much.”

The head of the project has also added that building an ever-shifting, semi-sentient maze has been a difficult task. 

“My team of architects and engineers had their work cut out for them. Dealing with the International Confederation of Wizards for creature and spell permits has been a nightmare,” said the head of the project.

According to sources that have asked to remain anonymous, the recent increase in construction activity and the blocking of several main pathways through campus is signalling the near completion of the maze. 

Allegedly, the administration will soon be picking the champions for the tournament and there have been rumours that there will be participants from other Albertan universities like Mount Royal University, MacEwan University and the University of Alberta. It is unclear if there will be three champions from each institution or if there will be some sort of qualifier trial for a grand total of three champions.

The university administration has declined to comment on these allegations stating, “Construction is not even finished yet. The student body will be informed of what the next steps are once it is completed.”

It is unclear whether the administration is talking about the impending selection of the champions or the overall tournament. The spokesperson has declined our request to elaborate on this incredibly vague statement.

More information on the Triwizard Tournament Maze is set to be released very soon.

This article is part of our humour section.

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