Pope visits for Stampede

By Sophia Lopez, July 8 2022—

The head of the worldwide Catholic Church Pope Francis has officially landed in Calgary this morning, just in time for the Stampede. 

While the weather in Vatican City seems quite better than in Calgary at the minute, this didn’t stop the pope from satisfying his craving to visit Cow Town.

To start off his Stampede experience, the bishop of Rome made his first stop at the Stampede Parade and got a glimpse of his southern idol, Kevin Costner. In an interview with the Gauntlet, the pope described how excited he was to see the movie star in real life. 

“It hasn’t been that long and this is already the best day of my life,” he said. “Aside from the day I became pope.”

The Calgary Stampede is filled with fun events to take part in. From a variety of midway foods and rides to live country music and fireworks — there’s something for everyone. The pope went on about how excited he is to indulge in the Kraft Dinner soft serve. When asked why he would ever eat such a disgusting combination, his response was quite convincing. 

“It’s like when Remy from Ratatouille ate that piece of cheese with a strawberry and his tastebuds were graced — this is an experience I must have,” he explained. “Even though Kraft Dinner may not be authentic Italian pasta, but still very close, I can’t wait to try a scoop of this cheesy ice cream.”

Though faced with harsh dog-side-eyes from the public after hearing this, the pope really couldn’t care less on this nice, sunny day.

The weather in Calgary has been far from consistent these past few weeks, with Calgarians never knowing what to expect when stepping out of the house. The pope came prepared today with a fancy limousine and 10 body guards to cruise him throughout the Stampede grounds in order to avoid any normal weather changes such as rain, hail or tornados. While everyone is concerned as to how he’ll be able to move through the grounds without trampling civilians, he quickly reassured the public that, “It’s nothing a little honking can’t fix.”

In order to ensure that the 10-day Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth goes perfectly, the pope said a quick prayer for good weather. So if there’s a tornado any time soon, you know who to blame.

Catch the pope at the Stampede every single day and at the Nashville North tent tomorrow night — you won’t want to miss it. 

For more information on the Calgary Stampede, visit their website.

This article is part of our humour section.