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Horoscope: Coping with the end of the semester

By Ramiro Bustamante Torres, April 25 2023

Sometimes things work out in our favour, but whether it’s due to luck or something that we do unconsciously, only the stars know.


(April 20–May 20):

You like to agree to so many plans so that you can feel the rush of cancelling each one as you know you have the day to yourself.


(May 21–June 20):

You make posts across your social media stating you are free and for anyone to hit you up to avoid being alone with your thoughts.


(June 21–July 22):

Once you finish your last final exam, you go to your room which you lock yourself in to uncontrollably sob to release all the pent-up stress you had all to the sound of club music.


(July 23–August 22):

No matter the weather, you want to take a drive down the fast lane with your windows rolled down and sing a belter of a song to feel the rush of freedom, even holding someone hostage as the passenger to document this.


(August 23–September 22):

You pat yourself on the back and take time to binge-watch that show you’ve been meaning to start all while in your comfiest clothes and with your phone on Do Not Disturb.


(September 23–October 22):

You have a farewell tour across campus acting all casual as you walk by all your favourite professors’ offices to wish them a good summer, secretly hoping your exam gets marked more leniently.


(October 23–November 21):

A mass text is sent out to your closest friends telling them they’re invited to a house party where all you do is bad mouth everyone who has wronged you this semester and write it down in a burn book.


(November 22–December 21):

Partying is all you have in mind but not what your bank account allows so you opt for mini-adventures with whoever is interested in joining you, some involving slightly dangerous situations.


(December 22–January 19):

You choose to let loose and show everyone your wild side as if you haven’t blown up every time something didn’t go as planned.


(January 20–February 18):

You see this as a chance to find yourself — yet again — which means finding a personality that doesn’t revolve around your degree and the courses you’re taking. 


(February 19–March 20):

After keeping a stable façade for four months straight, you now can let go of the academic persona you had and let your delusional side win over.


(March 21–April 19):

You take everything as a divine sign that you’re on the right path and believe this is going to be your summer, even though it’ll involve spreading yourself thin.

This article is part of our humour section.

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