Ambiguous Olympic advocacy group emerges on campus

By Frankie Hart, October 23 2018 —

In anticipation of the Nov. 13 Olympic plebiscite, a new stance on the issue has emerged, culminating in an advocacy group — Who’s To Say? Calgary 2026 (WTSC2). WTSC2 hopes to appeal to Calgarians who, like them, feel very confused and anxious about the Olympic debate. Their leader, Mallory Maeby, felt this group would especially connect with ambivalent university students.

“It’s an overwhelming time! Students are too busy stressing about midterms to think about fiscal responsibility and legacy,” Maeby explained. “We partially act as a support group to those who feel inadequately qualified to have an opinion on the debate.”

WTSC2 has been speaking to students at tables in MacHall for weeks, handing out stress balls with images of people shrugging on them. They also have brochures available with more information on their positions, the main subject being financial risk.

“The Olympics cost a lot of money. We know that for sure. What we don’t know is literally anything about budgeting or basic economics,” Maeby said. “When we heard that Tokyo was seven times over their budget for 2020, we were like, ‘Whoooaaaa!’ Money really be like that sometimes.”

The brochures detailed other topics of debate, such as concerns regarding doping vs. ‘dope-ness.’ Ultimately, the main goal of WTSC2 is to find someone who actually knows what they’re talking about to figure out what the right decision is.

“The question we beg is: who’s to say? Who do we think is actually knowledgeable enough to make this decision? Seriously, we don’t know. We’re taking suggestions,” Maeby said.

After tallying votes from members of the group, WTSC2 announced that there was only one contender deemed qualified enough to take on the decisive task of choosing whether Calgary should bid: a magic 8-ball. The group held a meeting in which Maeby shook the 8-ball to make a choice once and for all.

The ball read, “better not tell you now.”

The group collectively shrugged and then continued with their uncertain agenda.

This article is part of our humour section.