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Horoscope: Will you be lucky or unlucky according to the stars?

By Ramiro Bustamante Torres, March 28 2022—

Midterm season is in full swing with group projects and big assignments due as well. Every student is hoping for a silver lining, but what do the stars say about it?


(March 21 – April 20):

You’ll try to break the mold with your class presentation but accidentally break a leg on your way to the front of the class.


(April 21 – May 20):

The midterm you forgot to study for will get cancelled and you get to go home and sleep again.


(May 21 – June 21):

You’ll try to plan a group project meeting but you misspell the word “group” and everyone is spamming the chat with your mistake.


(June 22 – July 22):

On an assignment that you thought you failed, your professor will personally email you asking if they could use it as an example of a perfect score for next year.


(July 23 – August 21):

You want to venture out and find hidden study spots on campus but end up walking in on a midterm for a class you know nothing about. The professor welcomes you in and makes you sit the exam.


(August 22 – September 22):

You reach out to your professor about your terrible teammates who have not contributed to your term project. Your professor allows you to work alone, allowing you to take full control and get all the credit for your project.


(September 23 – October 22):

You lost all your contact info and with it was your class crush’s number you got the other day. You receive a text saying “u up?” and you’re trying to figure out if it’s your crush or your lab partner reminding you you have a report due tomorrow.


(October 23 – November 22):

You have been able to keep up with all your assignments and study sessions, which means that you have more time to lurk on social media to find the most recent drama.


(November 23 – December 21):

You’ve mistakenly double-booked yourself and planned a date when you’re supposed to meet with your professor. You can’t miss the meeting with your professor, so in the middle of the date you start the Zoom meeting and find out your date and your professor are related.


(December 22 – January 20):

You’re one of the students that had most of their stuff due before reading break so you have time to redecorate your room. You rearrange the furniture so you have the sun hit your face in the morning to start your day right.


(January 21 – February 19):

You need to send an email to your professors about an extension but you keep forgetting until you email them at the last minute. You refresh your email for over an hour waiting for a response.


(February 20 – March 20):

You receive an amazing grade for something you had worked so hard on. You did so well you got extra marks that raise your overall grade even more. I’m so proud of you.

This article is part of our humour section.

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