2022 SU General Election Full Supplement

Graphic by Sylvia Lopez

Horoscope: Unexpected things to happen during finals

By Ramiro Bustamante Torres, April 14 2023

Sometimes things work out in our favour, but whether it’s due to luck or something that we do unconsciously, only the stars know.


(March 21–April 19):

Your patience will be tested in a way you had not thought possible. You must perform a task that while seeming light and easy for others, hurts your pride.


(April 20–May 20):

Amidst your studying you will run into an old acquaintance you had hoped never to see again. You will be trapped in small talk, losing precious study time.


(May 21–June 20):

Oh no, you’ve double-booked yourself with two once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. You believe the only option is to split yourself in two.


(June 21–July 22):

Being avoidant will only lead to your problems piling up. Confront them one at a time or be prepared for them to come all at once.


(July 23–August 22):

Someone takes you up on one of the many fantastical claims you make. Unfortunately, this is one you cannot back up and you will find every excuse in the book to get out of this situation.


(August 23–September 22):

In a self-fulfilled prophecy, you will reach your limit and feel the effects of burnout. Will you learn to take a break or risk burning out even more?


(September 23–October 22):

To improve a situation, you will have to undergo the mortifying ordeal of being known. Otherwise, there will be more struggles ahead of you.


(October 23–November 21):

Overly-friendly mysterious texts: Hate to be the one to break it to you, but that person you’ve been texting who just so happened to “accidentally” text the wrong person but turned out to be friendly…they’re not actually interested in being your friend.


(November 22–December 21):

You will have to choose a hill to die on if you wish to have a hill to call your own. Trust in yourself or risk being swayed by others.


(December 22–January 19):

No amount of planning will live up to the real thing. Take a leap of faith to make a move forward.


(January 20–February 18):

Sometimes being crystal clear is better than communicating with vague signals only you understand. Be direct or be misunderstood.


Don’t get lost in your daydreams on the off chance you miss out on the good things happening in your reality.

This article is part of our humour section.

Hiring | Staff | Advertising | Contact | PDF version | Archive | Volunteer | SU

The Gauntlet