Pumpkin Spice lovers face discrimination yet again

By Frankie Hart, October 4 2016 —

Pumpkin spice season is in full swing. However, several local millennials are distressed to find themselves made fun of yet again for their love of pumpkin-spiced foods.

“I thought everyone would be over it by now. Pumpkin spice has been a thing for years now and I just want to have a damn latte without a Buzzfeed article sneaking up judgingly in my Facebook feed,” second-year psychology student Tiffany Turner said.

Although the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte was first released in 2003, its popularity has risen significantly since 2012. As it gained popularity, other pumpkin spice foods began appearing, all of which pumpkin spice worshippers claim are superior to any other flavour.

“I like, need my pumpkin spice tea — it’s a must. I drink it while I’m studying and it helps to distract me from the inevitable heat-death of the universe,” Turner said, clutching her pumpkin spice tea in her left hand and a pumpkin pie Blizzard® in her right.

Though coffee is usually considered the elixir of life for students, some students are still relentlessly teased for their coffee of choice.

“Whenever I’m with friends and I order a PSL, they laugh at me and call me a ‘white girl’ — which I don’t really understand. Aren’t all of us are white girls? Isn’t that racist or something?” Turner asked. “This is discrimination at its finest.”

Turner also emphasised the fact that not all pumpkin spice foods are created equal. It has been reported that the pumpkin spice muffins available at University of Calgary’s Tim Hortons locations not only don’t taste like pumpkin, but are dry and packed with an unnecessary amount of seeds while missing an adequate amount of cream cheese frosting to mask the taste of wasted pocket change.

“It tastes like the feeling of staying up until 3:00 a.m. to finish your readings for tomorrow’s class just to accidentally sleep in and miss the same class,” Turner said, with personal experience.

With the increasing judgement passed on individuals who crave that, sweet pumpkin goodness, Turner has decided enough is enough.

“It’s so frustrating being mocked for what you like. Could you imagine being discriminated because of what you love? It’s horrible.” Turner said. “I made the hashtag #MakePumpkinSpiceGreatAgain because we need to go back to an era when everyone could just drink pumpkin spice and there were no memes about it.”

Turner urges disgruntled millennials looking for solace in these dark and confusing times to tweet #MakePumpkinSpiceGreatAgain. She is looking to form an SU-sanctioned club in the new year to unite fellow pumpkin spice lovers across campus to share their love of the festive beverage in a safe space.

This article is part of our humour section.