Opinions & Features Workshop (Oct 26th)

Photo by Brina Blum // Unsplash

Horoscopes: What plant is right for you?

By Ramiro Bustamante Torres and Rachneet Randhawa, August 20 2021 —

If you’re looking to add some green to your life, look no further. We’ve got you covered.

Leo (July 23 – August 21)

Sunflower:

Leo is ruled by the sun so this is the perfect plant for you. Just make sure to face the flower towards yourself every chance you get so if you have guests over or take pictures with it, everyone knows you’re a ray of sunshine.

Virgo (August 22 – September 22) ​​

Aloe vera:

Virgos are practical, sensible and loyal — similar to the plant itself, which has a broad range of applications. From perfecting your skincare routine or jazzing up your face moisturizer, to relieving burns, this plant is approachable and can get along with pretty much anybody — just like you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Plastic Flowers:

Let’s be honest, you won’t be happy with any plant unless it’s of your choosing. Even after that, you’d still have to deal with the nightmare of keeping them alive. Your best bet is to get plastic flowers so you can change them as often as you need — to match your mood or day. Just remember to dust them once you pull them out.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 22) 

Echinocactus:

A type of cactus, you take time to warm up. With your determination and secretive persona, others may feel intimidated by you. But once you feel comfortable, you are extremely loyal, brave and deeply compassionate. This makes sense as it takes at least a decade for cacti to reach full growth — stop at nothing and be your ambitious self. 

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)

Grape vineyard:

You’re not one to shy away from a challenge, so a vineyard would be the perfect choice for you. Apart from having beautiful rows of plants you can harvest from, you can make wine afterward. It will be an impressive feat to accomplish and a good business to finance your impulsive buys. Just know that you must commit to this, so try not to drop the vineyard halfway through.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) 

Calla lily:

This popular and consistent annual is all about dainty spring-blooming and practicality. It similarly symbolizes persistence, discipline and the overachiever archetype. But, it’s so well worth it as your workaholic, type A personality often pays off later, so you can reap your rewards for the spring bloom.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

Air plant:

Even though you are known as the water-bearer, you would forget to water the plants. It would be best to get an air plant and put it near your bathroom window so after every shower it gets the humidity it needs. It’s also a very different kind of plant than anyone is used to seeing, so you can show it off and keep that air of mystery, without exposing your forgetfulness.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20) 

Hyacinths:

This elegant, yet subtle indoorsy plant does well in most conditions — whether it’s the dark days of winter or early spring, these plants are unusually adaptable. This makes sense, as you too have a great regard for empathy for others and you are emotionally aware and gracious, alongside being imaginative and the creative type. 

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Venus flytrap:

A carnivorous plant from the wetlands, it has done what it needed to survive — including trapping bugs to eat them. This plant can seem aggressive due to its diet, but that’s its nature, just like you. You can come off as someone who runs over others with their car, but you’re just trying to get where you’re needed — it’s not your fault everyone else is slow. It will be a bold statement to possess this plant, but it will get the message across — you shouldn’t be messed with.

Taurus (April 21 – May 20). 

Succulent:

These plants are known to be so thick, fleshy, engorged and well-versatile, so it communicates well that you’re all about craving social and corporate stability. At times, your dependent nature is hit or miss and can run rampant, especially in your personal relationships, so be aware. 

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)

Pothos:

These plants are easy to grow, they come in different varieties and you can propagate them many times. Plants love it when you talk to them, so once you have a multitude of pots you can get your daily word count in by morning. You can also whisper all those secrets you have — just make sure you don’t say too many negative things or they might wither.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22) 

Bay leaf:

The leaves of this plant add some spice to your cooked dishes and are used to treat health symptoms like muscle and joint pain. Be careful, as the leathery leaves can have sharp edges similar to how you can be hyper-emotional and sensitive at times. Yet, just like the plant you are a devotee and extremely fond of your loved ones and will go to great lengths to defend them. 

This article is part of our humour section.


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