Horoscopes: Which swim strokes are the signs? 

By Josie Simon, September 6 2023—

I was minding my business on the third floor of the TFDL when a strange man in a My Little Pony hoodie approached me and told me which swim stroke best matches each zodiac sign. While I was initially skeptical, I think he might be on to something. Don’t believe me? Read on and judge for yourself. 

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Freestyle

Aquarians are known for their strong sense of individuality and creativity, which makes the freestyle stroke the perfect match for their unique tastes. This stroke mimics the effortless and graceful movement with which Aquarians navigate life. 

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Breaststroke 

Pisces are known for their incredible capacity for compassion, but they can also be arrogant. They often excel at the breaststroke, which embodies their unique blend of emotional depth, kindness and vanity. 

Aries (March 21 – April 19): Backstroke

Aries’ unwavering self-confidence and fierce competitive spirit make them the ultimate match for the backstroke. Anchored by their indomitable will and refusal to give up, they embody the backstroke’s bold and fearless essence.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Butterfly

The luxurious and graceful butterfly stroke aligns with Taurus’ appreciation for the finer things in life. The stroke’s elegance and precision mirror their affinity for high-quality goods and sophisticated experiences.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Sidestroke

As the zodiac sign associated with duality, the versatile and adaptable sidestroke perfectly embodies Geminis’ multifaceted personality. Like the sidestroke, Geminis can seamlessly adapt to any environment and flourish in tumultuous circumstances.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Trudgen

Cancers excel at the trudgen stroke due to their intuitive nature and emotional intelligence, allowing them to synchronize their arms and legs effortlessly. This connection between mind and body reflects their ability to form deep relationships with others. 

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Elementary backstroke

Leos have a fiery and passionate energy well-suited for the fluid and elegant elementary backstroke. Their commanding presence is effortlessly showcased by the striking movements of this stroke, making it the perfect fit for their bold personality. 

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Combat sidestroke

Virgos have a natural inclination towards precision and calculation, which makes the combat sidestroke an obvious choice for their analytical and logical minds. This stroke requires careful coordination and measured movements, which Virgos excels at.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Tarzan Crawl

Libras’ natural balance and harmonious demeanour align well with the Tarzan crawl. This stroke demands a sense of calmness and balance, allowing Libras to apply their approach to life in the water.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Dog paddle

Scorpios, known for their unbending tenacity and love of adventure, are a natural fit for the dog paddle stroke. Their unrelenting determination and willingness to explore new horizons embody the energetic and enthusiastic spirit required for this stroke.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Scissor kick

The scissor kick is an excellent choice for Sagittarians due to their physical and mental agility. This kick demands coordination and physical prowess, which aligns with Sagittarians’ quick-footedness and mental adaptability. 

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Eggbeater kick

Capricorns’ disciplined and hardworking nature corresponds well with the formidable eggbeater kick. This kick requires consistent and calculated movements, making it an excellent match for determined Capricorns.

This article is part of our humour section.