Horoscopes: Which old-school internet meme are you?
By Sheroog Kubur, September 20 2023—
These days, we’ve all grown up seeing how memes have changed over time. Gone are the days of the top text bottom text formats for oddly specific scenarios in favour of widely applicable reaction images. However, in order to go forward, we must honour our past. Honour this past by figuring out which of these old-school memes embody who you are.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Planking
You are committed to everything you put your heart into, and the commitment to planking back in the day was astonishing. You couldn’t log onto the internet without seeing someone plank somewhere that they definitely shouldn’t be, but you’d have to admire their willingness to do it anyways.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Keep Calm and …
Nothing embodies the peacekeeping-but-slightly-pushy nature of you more than the classic Keep Calm and Carry On meme. It urges everyone to stay relaxed while simultaneously demanding so much of the reader, just like you. Next time you want to get your friends to stop fighting, whip one of these up and send it over to ease the tension.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
*Tips fedora*
Introductions can be hard sometimes, but somehow you manage to charm everyone you meet without trying. Tipping your fedora and exuding the utmost respect towards the fair maidens and bachelors is a surefire way to leave an impression, something you’ve mastered.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Philosoraptor
As a certified thinker, you’re always on the lookout for knowledge and making yourself brilliant. Philosoraptor carries your spirit — always pondering about the state of the world and asking themselves the true hard-hitting questions. Each question has a clear line of logic and justified conclusion, something you should take notes from.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
One does not simply…
No one knows the value of taking your time like you do. You understand the need to step back a moment and reevaluate, often being the one to remind everyone that you simply cannot dive headfirst into this crazy idea. Although, sometimes it is that simple, so ease up a little bit.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Rick Rolling
You’re unexpected and dynamic, and nothing will shock anyone more than a classic Rick Roll. Additionally, the most timeless meme on this list, nothing encompasses the pleasant foolishness of clicking a link and being launched into those first couple of notes. Shocking people is your forte, but don’t be surprised when people get tired of your antics after the second try.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Overly Attached Girlfriend
Your intuition is unmatched and the Overly Attached Girlfriend understands you on a spiritual level. She somehow knows everything and is always asking questions that will make everyone wonder how she could have possibly known that. Just because she’s right doesn’t mean it’s any less weird, so don’t forget to ask yourself first “Do I absolutely need to know this?”
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Shut up and take my money!
You don’t play around, and Fry brings the energy that you would expect from an Aries. He is commanding and straightforward but also probably making an impulsive decision that he hasn’t completely thought through. The directness is appreciated, just don’t bankrupt yourself (literally or figuratively).
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Grumpy cat
A timeless classic, Grumpy Cat is the most cat meme of all the cat memes. As the resident hedonist, it’s easy to disrupt your carefully curated peace and when someone does that, you’ll be complaining about it until the cows come home.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Disaster girl
She’s always at the scene of the crime and somehow unscathed, no one is more like you than the Disaster girl. The cheeky look towards the camera? The flames burning beside her? The lack of desire to go help the issue? Need I say more?
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
First world problems
You’re always losing your mind about something, and First World Problems understands you. These are issues that are plaguing you and you alone, so having the ability to articulate your problems so clearly might be a relief to you.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
I can has cheezeburger?
This meme is a star on its own, just like you. There’s no way to adjust the format because this happy little cat is enough of a star on their own. They’re asking nicely but everyone already knows who they are and matches your shine perfectly.
This article is part of our humour section.