2022 SU General Election Full Supplement

Ten ways to entertain yourself during convocation

By Emily Macphail, May 31 2016 —

Many university students will walk the stage this week, concluding their degree. Though it is definitely a day worth celebrating, the ceremony can be quite boring. Here are 10 tips in making the ceremony a little bit more bearable.

  1. Read the convocation program. Every. Single. Word.
  1. Keep a tally of how many times someone yells, “we love you [insert graduating student’s name here]!” Alternatively, assign first, second and third place to thisometric_flat_graduation_cap_free_vector_by_superawesomevectors-d9h0qbve families with the most creative noise-making devices. Bonus points for the family that brings an orchestra of vuvuzelas.
  1. Take advantage of still having AirUC-Secure access by starting your job search on your phone. It’s never a bad time to increase the number of rejection emails in your inbox.
  1. While your phone is out, take a photo of your shoes. And then one of your diploma. And then a selfie. And then another one. Attempt an epic Ellen DeGeneres-style selfie on the platform.
  1. Go through the names of all of the graduating students in the program. Find out where your high school classmates ended up. Suzie — who used to be able to down a mickey of Alberta Pure in six minutes — is now graduating with First Class Honours in actuarial science.  Sam — who once got lost on Nose Hill for a weekend after getting too high — is graduating from neuroscience.
  1. Try to spot where your family is sitting. Grab their attention by setting off a flare. Smile as they attempt to photograph you from too far away.
  1. 179px-Degree.svgSeeing as you now have legitimate accomplishments other than “Gardening Club Vice-President”, contemplate what your new email signature should look like.
  1. Try to determine what the goofiest thing about convocation is. Is it the ornate robes and headwear? The mace? The fact that after completing at least four years of classes, you have to sit through a ceremony longer than your analytical chemistry lab in order to get a picture with your diploma?
  1. Go on #convocationfootwearwatch2016. Everyone’s in the same black gown, but some of the shoes crossing the platform rival those on a New York runway. Six-inch studded heels? Yup. Crocs? Yup. Sequined loafers? Got those too. And then there are the dancers in their bare feet — also awesome.
  1. Seriously, just be in the moment. You and every other person crossing the stage worked incredibly hard to get there. Celebrate what you’ve accomplished!


This article is part of our humour section.

Hiring | Staff | Advertising | Contact | PDF version | Archive | Volunteer | SU

The Gauntlet