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Horoscopes: Why are the signs not a 10/10’s?

By Ramiro Bustamante Torres, August 3 2022

Summer sometimes comes with flings and dating, but everyone has their dealbreakers. What stops the signs from being 10/10’s?


(July 23 – August 21):

They’re a 10 but they get too aggressive when playing musical chairs, even with children around.


(August 22 – September 22):

They’re an eight but have a Pinterest board for their wedding from their teenage years that is non-negotiable.


(September 23 – October 22):

They’re a nine but calls anyone that spends more than three hours with them their bestie.


(October 23 – November 22):

They’re an 11 but say they’re too pretty to work when you ask them to do the dishes.


(November 23 – December 21):

They’re an eight but they won’t shut up about their theory of how Minions and American Psycho are in the same universe.


(December 22 – January 20):

They’re a seven but can’t stop asking for the three dollars you owe them from your last coffee date.


(January 21 – February 19):

They’re an eight but ghost you every two weeks, claiming they’re “finding” themselves.


(February 20 – March 20):

They’re a 10 but keep trying to force you into doing things they only want to do.


(March 21 – April 20):

They’re a 10 but too absorbed in the task at hand to pay attention to you.


(April 21 – May 20):

They’re a nine but they aren’t ashamed to go out in the dirtiest clothes from their bedroom floor.


(May 21 – June 21):

They’re a seven but sent the same heartfelt message to seven other people.


(June 22 – July 22):

They’re a nine but block you when you criticize their coping mechanisms.

This article is part of our humour section.

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